Issues

   I am in fact having "issues" with something at this end, which is preventing me from properly blogging. Sorry for the inconvenience.
   'Nuff said.

Friday Follies

   And what better way to start than with the butt of many late night comedian's jokes: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Seems Bobby baby is in legal hot water again. This time, he's being sued for libel by a Toronto newspaper reporter, who says Ford  alluded to him as a pedophile in a recent interview the mayor gave to Conrad Black.
   The reporter in question says the decision was not an easy one to make. None of the claims have been proven in court.
   Speaking of courts, in North Korea there was a kangaroo one recently, which saw the execution of  the powerful uncle of young leader Kim Jong Un, or as I call him Sum Dum Fuk.

   That's Kim with his uncle Jang Song Thaek in happier days. Happier for Jang, cause he was still alive. State media in the DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) say Uncle Jang was killed just days ahead of the second anniversary of the death of Kim Jong Il, the father of North Korea's current ruler. Co-incidence? I don't think so. Young Fuk is still consolidating power, and bumping off old Unkie Jang shows the process is ongoing.
   I guess old Jang can now be called Sum Dead Gimp.
   'Nuff said.

The Banks Made How Much?

   Canada's banks all reported profits in the last quarter of 2013, and for the year as well. The biggest bank, the Royal, made 8.5 BILLION dollars profit this year, beating last year's record profit of 7.5 BILLION. Other banks also reported either record or near record profits as well.
   Personally, I think that's obscene, especially when one fuck of a lot of people, myself included, have to stretch to make ends meet. A lot of people just barely manage to scrape by month to month, and feel it's fucking ridiculous for banks to make anywhere near that much. Yes, they are a business, and yes, they should make a profit. But 8.5 BILLION?!? What the fuck do they need all that cash for anyway? Oh, yeah. I forgot. They have to pay their senior execs millions and millions a year. Plus dividends to shareholders.
   What the banks should be forced to do is cap profits at say 2 billion per year. The remaining cash should be handed back to the people who pay unreal fees for mortgages, loans, credit cards and even fees to use the fucking banks to begin with!
   But that's about as likely to happen as the sun rising in the west and setting in the north.
   Rant over.
   'Nuff said.

It's Black (Eye) Friday

   It is, in fact, the day retailers make a good chunk of their budget on. It's also a day shoppers (mostly American, but quite a few Canadian) head to the stores in droves, bargain hunting as the Christmas shopping season starts.
   Unfortunately, it also brings out the worst in a lot of people. There were reports of fights breaking out between customers all wanting that "must have" item. Clerks at several stores got injured in the melee. Shit, even cops were getting roughed up!
   Walmart seems to be the fan favourite for poor behaviour, with a fight between 3 patrons at one store, a customer pepper spraying other shoppers and staff at another. And one stabbing as well! And for what? Well, in one case a fight broke out over a TV. A fucking television! So far, there's no report of gunfire, but it does point out the fact there are only 26 shooting days 'til Christmas.
   Did I take part in the madness and mayhem? Fuck no! I'll wait 'til next week when things calm don before I venture into any store.
   'Nuff said.

"Dumb Fuck" Update

   So, last week I titled a post "Dumb Fuck Friday", and documented the going's on of Toronto's crack mayor (or mayor on crack) Rob Ford, and that little douche Justin Beiber.
   Well, we have updates! It seems Mr. Ford has more unseemly allegations being leveled at him, including inferences to domestic abuse and a suggestion he was once stopped from speaking to the prime minister because he was too intoxicated.
   As for the other shart, Bieber, it seems he's having trouble with neighbors. No, sorry. His neighbors are having trouble with him. Back from his "tour" of South America, where he seemed to piss off quite a few people, he's back at his home in the States. Much to the chagrin of the people living near him. Seems the cops were called 3 separate times about noise coming from this little asshole's house. It's just a fucking shame he's not blitzed on bath salts and charges officers while armed with a knife or something. Ka-BLAM!
   'Nuff said.

It's Grey Cup Weekend

   So, it's Grey Cup weekend. Anyone else not care? And this year it's being held in Regina, the city who's name rhymes with "fun". Not that a lot of fans or players have been having much fun so far this week, with bitterly cold temperatures and high wind chill values.
   Several members of the Hamilton Tiger Cats got frostbite during practice this week. The Saskatchewan Roughriders have been working out indoors to avoid just that. There's no dome over the stadium there, and it seems City Fathers have decided the new stadium will also be topless. Which means cold football. It also means for 4 or 5 months of the year, having no roof or dome or cover will just leave the new stadium as a snow dump.
   How fucking stupid is that? Here they have an opportunity for a first class facility which could host things like RV and home improvement shows, not to mention major concerts, during the off-season in the CFL. But no. It's "too expensive". So, instead fans will be subject to more cold weather games. Unless the league decides to start the season a month earlier, which ain't likely.
   They have a golden opportunity to build a world class stadium, and instead they're opting for the cheaper option. As for who I'm cheering for Sunday.....I don't care.
   'Nuff said.

Make It Stop! Please, Somebody Just Make It Stop!!

   Tis the season. Christmas season. And that means stores have started playing Christmas music. All fucking day. With no break. And I fucking HATE Christmas music. It's bad enough in the 2 weeks before the "big day", but to have it start half way through November?!? Really??
   And is it really necessary for food stores to play that shit for the next 6 weeks? It's not like I can stock up on supplies for the next 6 weeks. Department stores, fine. I can avoid them. But I need my local grocery store. Seriously, it's almost enough to me me go postal!
   So please retailers, knock the Christmas music the fuck off until December 15th or so. I'm not the only one who hates that shit. Hell, the poor people who work in those stores are subjected to it for up to 8 hours a day.
   So I say "Let There Be Peace On Earth", cut the crap music out, and give my eardrums a freaking break!
   'Nuff said

It's "Dumb Fuck" Friday

   And we'll start with Canada's 'crack' mayor, or should that be Canada's mayor on 'crack', Toronto's Rob Ford. This has gone global, and what a nice endorsement for my country's largest city. Ford has admitted smoking crack while in a "drunken stupor". He also admitted buying illicit drugs since his election. He also admitted to driving while drunk.
   And if that ain't bad enough, Ford (allegedly) had hookers in his office. Council has voted to strip him of a few executive powers, and meet again Monday to decide whether or not to transfer power to the deputy mayor. Fatso Ford has launched a lawsuit over the actions. I hope he has a team of crack lawyers working on it for him.
   Moving on to my favorite little douchebag:

   Yep! This pubic louse is back in the news again, and again for all the wrong reasons. The little pus filled bubo has caused quite a stir on his South American tour. Not only did Justin Bieber paint a racially tinged piece of shit.....er graffiti.....in Brazil (a black monkey), but he also defamed the Argentinian flag, using it as a mop with his feet and a mic stand. Way to go Beebs!
   When is this little cunt going to grow up? Hopefully never, because it gives haters like me (and a whole lot of others) a great target. But I also sincerely hope this filthy piece of distended rectum has a fatal OD soon.
   'Nuff said

This Is About As Low As You Can Go

   Tomorrow is Remembrance Day in Canada, when we honor our veterans from all conflicts, and pay special tribute to the thousands of service people who gave the ultimate, and laid down their lives in service of our country.
   It's no secret that I wholly support our vets, and proudly take part in Remembrance Day services. So this came as the ultimate insult.
   Some sick fuck in Richmond, B.C broke into the Legion #291 Branch, and stole 10 ceremonial  flags, some of which are irreplaceable. Included was the Union Jack, along with Ladies Auxiliary standards, and the banner bearing the Legion Branch insignia. Apparently they, and the poles were stored in 2 ski-bags, and a Legion spokesman believes the assholes responsible thought they were skis.
  The 2 most valuable are the ones with the Branch insignia, and a Legion spokesman was simply for their return. No questions asked.
   I could go off on a long, very profane rant against the scum who did this, but I won't. However, if they're found they should either be jailed for a very long time, and if they're immigrants, kicked out of the country.
   It's really sad the "justice" system in this country won't allow my favorite 2 punishments. One: Put them in uniform and make them serve in a very dangerous part of the world, or Two: Put them in front of a military firing squad.
   'Nuff said.

Why The Hell Not

(photo courtesy Zucker Bakery)

   A bakery in New York is combining American Thanksgiving and Hanukkah, along with donuts, turkey and cranberry sauce. All into one. Just when you think Krispy Kreme went too far with the Sloppy Joe donut, comes the "Thanksgivukkah" donut.
   In fact, there are several different versions of the "Thanksgivukkah" donut, including one with a spiced pumpkin donut, turkey and turkey gravy, or the one with turkey and cranberry sauce. No? How about a sweet potato donut with toasted marshmallow cream. No? Well then how about a good old fashioned jelly donut. With cranberry sauce instead of jelly.
   The owners of the bakery say they stuff the donut with the ingredients before deep-frying them, so no donut holes. And if you were wondering why "Thanksgivukkah", it's because Thanksgiving and the first night of Hanukkah are on the same day. Something that won't happen again for some 77 thousand, 8 hundred years.
   Which is about how long I'm willing to wait to try the "Thanksgivukkah" donut.
   'Nuff said.

This Is Just Bullshit

   Remembrance Day is Monday, but a Costco store in B.C is being remembered for a not so special reason. It seems the retailer KICKED OUT a former Air Cadet who was trying to sell them. Seems the guy has been selling the poppies for years, but was told last weekend to stop selling them at the Costco outlet.
   As you probably know, the campaign runs for 2 weeks, and the money raised goes to help fund the Royal Canadian Legion. It also helps commemorate those service personnel who gave their lives in war. Apparently, the nearby Superstore welcomed the fellow in with open arms, but not Costco.
   If it seems like I'm targeting Costco, yeah. I am. And I say FUCK Costco over this. In fact, I'm ripping up my membership card right in front of the store manager this weekend. While wearing several poppies.
   And my reaction is being echoed by several people across the country who also feel the same way.
   'Nuff said.

Maybe My Folks Were Right After All

   When I was growing up, I go t a lot of the old "sit up straight" or "stand up straight" shouts in my direction when I tried to get comfortable by slouching in my chair or on the couch or even when standing. Sometimes, although not that often, it would be followed up by a sharp smack on the back of the head. Usually followed by the line "if you keep slouching like that, you'll end up with a bad back". Who knew my folks were right.
   Seems a couple of doctors in Holland are finding kids as young as 18 with back problems similar to people much, much older. And they've even come up with a name for it "Gameboy back". They say it's caused by kids hunching over their Gameboy, tablet, phone or other devices for hours at a time. Which in turn curves the spine into a "C", putting kids at risk of muscle problems, headaches and even herniated discs.
   While far from calling for a ban on the devices, the doctors say parents can do their part by teaching better posture. They also say a simple test can tell them if their kid needs to go to a doctor by having them touch their toes. At least when weight's not an issue. It may mean the kids spine has started to curve.
   So, Sit Up Straight and/or Stand Up Straight. Sorry, but I can't administer a quick slap to the back of the head. Just as well, though.
   'Nuff said.

Now That's A Beer. Take Two.

   Just over a year ago, I blogged about the worlds strongest beer (Now That's A Beer October 18, 2012). Armageddon had an alcohol content of 65%. They've been one-upped by this:

   Snake Venom comes in at a whopping 67.5% alcohol. The best part is, they did it to themselves. Brewmeister Brewery in Scotland unveiled the last word in high test beer recently. According to the story I saw, they purposely made Armageddon "oily" to mask the taste of alcohol. Not so with Snake Venom. The alcohol is strong, but not enough to overpower the taste of malt and hops.
   Apparently, they used 2 different yeasts for fermentation, and froze the concoction several times during the process. And this beer is so strong, it even comes with it's own warning label saying people should not consume 35 ml (that's not even an ounce and a half) in one sitting.
   There's 275 ml in each bottle, which goes for 85 buck a pop. And like Armageddon, the brewers say this should be sipped, like a fine single malt scotch, not pounded down like pizza beer.
   Still I kinda wonder how much father this can go. 70% alcohol? I really can't see anything over that. Would I try one? Fuck no. as I said in "Now That's A Beer" I like my liver.
   'Nuff said.

Say It Ain't So!

   For McDonalds. there are other kinds. After 40 years or partnership, Rotten Ronnies is looking for a replacement for Heinz Ketchup. But why? Why is McD's giving one of the world's most popular condiments the heave-ho?.
   It's not over cost, and there's been no production and/or distribution snafu. It's to do with the new CEO at Heinz. What.....did the guy used to be CEO of Burger King or something? Actually.....yeah. He was. But it likely won't even be noticed in North America. McD's only has 2 areas serving Heinz. Pittsburgh and Minneapolis. The rest have stuff labelled "fancy ketchup".
   Heinz loss will, of course, mean a big gain for whoever is chosen as a replacement (most likely Hunts). Rotten Ronnies has 34 thousand places across the globe, and it's the overseas market that could be impacted most.
   Since I think the food (if you can call it that) at McD's shouldn't even be served to animals, let alone humans without a generous slathering of Heinz to either kill or mask the taste, my personal boycott of the Golden Arches will continue.
   'Nuff said.

This Will Not Come As A Surprise

   Michael Sean Stanley has been arrested in Seattle. And for (allegedly) trying to sexually assault a 16 year old boy. It seems the pervert who fled Canada at the start of this month bought some booze, took the youth into an alley, plied him with liquor and tried (allegedly) to assault him. The young man had a knife, and managed to escape. It's just a fucking shame he didn't stick the shiv in him
   It was just last week was asking the question why he is still free? I guess I have my answer. He isn't any more. Unless he was released. It was also last week I blogged about Stanley speaking to the media down there, saying he left Canada because "it hasn't been good to me. All they've been doing is belittle me, shafting me, making me look like I'm some kind of menace, some creep, some pedophile, some kind of guy that didn't deserve to be out in the community."
   I guess Canadian authorities and Canada was right, huh? He also claimed he fled to the States to "start over". I guess he (allegedly) tried to start over with the 16 year old boy. I just hope this shit stain, this filthy piece of distended rectum gets some good old fashioned American Justice when, sorry, if, he's found guilty.
   A leopard can't change his spots, and a pedo is still a pedo.
   'Nuff said.

A Sunday Jumble

   There hasn't been a single item to pique my interest today, so I'm just going to throw some random shit together.
   And what better place to start than Regina, Saskatchewan (the city who's name rhymes with "fun"). It seems 2 Nigerian students who had been holed up in several churches seeking "sanctuary" for the past year have finally left the country. Voluntarily, it should be said, even though the Feds ordered them deported in 2012. Were they terrorists? No. Were they in the country illegally? No. In fact they were students at the university. Why kick them out? Because they both worked for 2 weeks at a local Walmart. Which was not allowed under he terms of their student visas. Which they should have read more closely before taking jobs. Should Walmart have asked if working contravened their visa? No, I don't think whoever did the hiring should have. They were responsible for their actions. And as far as claiming "sanctuary" goes.....it should be outlawed for anyone not facing imminent death on deportation.

   Moving on: It's been over 100 years since the Titanic sank, killing hundreds and hundreds of people. But still, the fascination with the ship any anything connected to it continues. And so it was this weekend when the violin owned by Wallace Hartley sold for 1.5 million dollars. Hartley was the band leader on the ill-fated ship. He, and all the other musicians drowned in the tragedy. His body was found, with the violin, still in it's case, strapped to his body. It can never be played, and hopefully the buyer will give it a good home.

   Moving on: Italian automaker Lamborghini has built 9 new cars. To go along with the original 4 they produced. It's called the Veneno,

  And if you can get one of the roadsters, it'll set you back 5.3 million. I just hope Nicki Minaj is barred from buying one after the paint job she gave an Aventador (see my blog "You A Stupid Hoe" of Oct 18).
   Hopefully when I get back from my work location next weekend, I'll have something more substantive. Have a great week!
   'Nuff said.

Has The Balance Been Tipped?

 The Pale Blue Dot. Home to several species of life, and so far, the only planet known to harbour life. But I fear one species has tipped the balance, and is now threatening not only their own existence, but just about every other species on Earth as well. I'm talking about us. Homo Sapiens. Humans.
   In the thousands and thousands of years since we evolved, it took our species until 1804 to reach the one billion mark in population. It's only taken the past 200 years to reach 7 billion, and the result is frightening, to say the least.
   Oceans are being overfished and polluted to the point where there are serious questions being raised about them being able to continue to harbour life. Maybe not in my lifetime, but if things go unchecked, it could be as little at 2 or 3 hundred years.
   The land is being over farmed as well, and is now (in many parts of the world) producing less crop. It's to the point where rainforests, which supply a vast amount of the oxygen we need to survive are being cut down and burned off at a rate that threatens their viability as well.
   Who can we blame? Ourselves as a whole, not individually. As the dominant species on this planet, we have pushed others to extinction, and still do at an alarming rate, in OUR need to survive. It may not be that far off when counties start warring with each other over arable land, drinkable water and resources.
   So, what's to be done? A "cull" of humanity? A global thermonuclear war? Withholding food to other countries? No to all of those. Part of being human is being humane, and that's the problem. We try to help each other, which in itself is laudable, but we don't seem to count the cost.
   Trying to have populous countries maintain a zero population growth agenda dosen't work. I've stated we can't have a nuclear holocaust, and we sure as shit can't start hunting each other. So, what does that leave? Mother nature. I'm not trying to sound tactless, but I feel what "Humanity" needs to do is let nature take her course. Stop trying to figure out a cure to diseases. They crop up every now and then for a reason. To keep the human population in check. I'm not saying we should re-introduce smallpox, or hit other nations with a new virus just because we can. I'm simply suggesting that nature should be left alone to care for herself.
   If that sounds callous, it's not meant to be. But if we continue being humane and trying to cure everything that comes our way, we may well doom humanity instead.
   'Nuff said.

Why Is This Man Still Free..UPDATE

(Photo from RCMP)

   Last week, I asked the question why convicted, violent, high risk sex offender Michael Sean Stanley is free. This week, I found out he's still going to be free, in Seattle, Washington. And unless he commits an offence in the States, he's likely going to remain free. Because Canadian authorities aren't seeking extradition. Even after he cut off his electronic monitoring bracelet, and threw it away. Which should have violated his parole conditions and. given his history, meant extradition should be pursued.
   And it seems he's now talking to U.S media, saying he wants to start over. In an interview with a Seattle TV station, he's quoted as saying  "I had enough. I'm leaving this country because it hasn't been good to me. All they've been doing is belittle me, shafting me, making me look like I'm some kind of menace, some creep, some pedophile, some kind of guy that didn't deserve to be out in the community." I wonder if that's got anything to do with sexually assaulting mentally challenged boys and an elderly woman? Those are among the crimes he's been CONVICTED of.
   He also denied doing the crimes, and  did as ordered, and registered as an offender in that state, adding he does not intend to commit any crime. As for him turning over a "new leaf", parole officials say he did NOT take part in any programs designed to reduce his risk to reoffend, and has never admitted responsibility.
   I just hope for the sake of the kids in the city of Seattle this guy actually means it. But since most (not all, but most) such offenders re-offend, I wouldn't be surprised if he's arrested there in the next few months to a year.
   'Nuff said.

Your A Stupid Hoe (Stupid, Stupid)

   Yep! Nicki Minaj, the woman who brought you the uplifting song "Stupid Hoe" (see my blog of February 9, 2012), and who was a judge on American Idol has struck again. And this time, she's pissed off auto purists.
   Nicki bought herself a new ride. And not just any ride either. She laid out 400 thousand dollars for a Lamborghini Aventador.

 The latest creation from the Italian supercar maker. It's not the fact she bought one that's got people in a tizzy. It's what she did to it that has motoring enthusiasts enraged.
   Fine, I understand she's got mega-millions, and if she wants to spend a good chunk of change on a Lambo, so be it.
   What exactly did she do to the car anyway? It wasn't a new super boom-box stereo, and she didn't get it off the lot only to trash it, although that might have been preferable.
   Nope! She did THIS to it:

   Yep! She painted it fucking hot pink!   So, to quote her own song, "You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid).....
   'Nuff said

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada

   It is Thanksgiving Monday, a time when families get together for the communal meal. Turkey, done to perfection, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing etc, etc, etc.
   Quite a few of us will simply eat way too much, and end up on the couch, top button on the pants undone, moaning and groaning because quite simply, we turn into gluttons at this time of year.
   Then. there's the leftover turkey from that 25 to 40 pound bird. Hot turkey and gravy tomorrow. Turkey sandwiches all week. Turkey a la King, and if there's anything left, turkey soup. Probably enough to keep a lot of households going until Christmas.
   And let's not forget desert! A Thanksgiving Dinner's not complete without desert. Apple pie, apple crumble, apple cobbler and, of course, the perennial favorite, pumpkin pie.
   But just keep in mind when you're sticking your fork into it that this is how pumpkin pies are made:

   Happy Thanksgiving anyway!
   'Nuff said.

Life's A Bitch

   That's what one Saskatoon, Saskatchewan man found out the hard way recently. Seems our 20 year old idiot was hurt by a pipe-bomb. I guess I should point out now that he was building it in his basement when it went off.
   Why was he building a pipe-bomb? Cops in the so-called Bridge City haven't said yet, but our hero ended up with hand injuries. Oh, yeah. The brainiac had a buddy with him when the thing went ka-BOOM. He was less seriously hurt.

   In other explosive news: It seems a man in New York was also seriously hurt in a blast when his toilet exploded. Well, not an actual ka-BOOM, like the guy above, but enough to leave him with serious injuries as well. Seems there was some maintenance going, and water had to be turned off. When he hit the switch, he was launched backwards by a sudden inrush of water, and knocked out, also suffering cuts from shrapnel from the shattered bowl.
   It seems the guy's so gun-shy of his own shitter, he's tied a rope to the flusher, and trips it from behind a door!
   He's suing.
   'Nuff said.

Why Is This Man Still Free?

 

   The man in question is 48 year old Michael Sean Stanley, a high risk, violent sex offender who cut off his electronic monitoring bracelet in Lloydminster, Alberta back on October 1st. There were several reported, but unconfirmed, sightings of this guy in Saskatchewan, and his vehicle was later found in Lethbridge Alberta.
   It seems he made his way back to Edmonton, where he'd been living, then buggered off to B.C, where he crossed the border to the U.S. American authorities know where he is, but have yet (at the time of this writing) to arrest him, even though he's got a criminal record there.
   And now, the rant:
   A big "thank you" to Canada's Criminal Justice system for releasing this shit stain in the first place. Apparently, it was a mandatory release because "he'd done his time". In this case, a stunning 32 whole months for assault and forcible confinement. But his history goes back to 1987, and includes taking kids from playgrounds and sexually assaulting them. With that history, you'd think he be the last candidate for release. Mandatory or other.
   This is the kind of person who should never see the light of day, and who probably should have been put to death. Instead, he gets mandatory release. I just wonder how many months he'll get after this. Hopefully a lot more than 32.
   And where were the American authorities? How did this sick fuck get across the border with Washington State to begin with? U.S police have been notified about him, but so far no advisory or alert has been given to the public.
   I just hope when he's caught, and he will be, that he gets a very long stretch in a maximum security prison. And is put in with the general prison population. Maybe then he'll get the justice he deserves.
   'Nuff said.

To Quote Monty Python: "I'm Not Quite Dead Yet"

   So says a 61 year old Ohio man. Donald Miller Jr. is trying to have the court declare him un-dead, so to speak. And not as a vampire or zombie. Mr. Miller was declared legally dead several years ago after he vanished in 1986.
   Seems he was a recovering alcoholic who fucked off, leaving a wife, kids and 25 grand in unpaid child payments behind him. The State declared him legally dead in 1994, and started paying his benefits, while Miller was living in Florida. He moved to Georgia, before returning to Ohio, and trying to get back into the land of the living.
   Miller walked into court Monday, asking to be declared "living", but the judge told him he'd missed the 3 year deadline to have a death ruling overturned. How he managed to "live" several years after being declared "dead" wasn't mentioned.
   For now, he'll have to stay in the afterlife.
   'Nuff said.

Another Strange Ale Tale

   I've blogged about beer in the past. In fact, it was just last fall I blogged about the worlds strongest beer (see: "Now That's A Beer" October 18, 2012). Well, just in time for Oktoberfest 2013 comes the latest creation from the States.
   It's called "Celeste-jewel-ale", and it contains moon dust. Yup! Moon dirt. It seems the company brewing the beer, Dogfish Head, got some lunar meteorites, crushed them up and added them to an ale. Apparently, they wrote to a company that makes spacesuits, and they in turn provided the rocks. And enough material for 10 koozies.
   If you're hankering for one, you'd better book a flight to Delaware. And quick, because when the keg runs dry, that's it.
   Would I try it? Hell yeah! I've drunk some fucked up beers in the past, including one with an entire jalapeno in a bottle which could probably strip paint. So something with a little dirt wouldn't kill me. Unless there's a moon parasite that thrives and multiplies in beer. And a human stomach. Then I'd reconsider.
   'Nuff said.

As Much Fun As Watching Paint Dry (Maybe Less)

   In Norway, the state television network will show, live, an attempt to break the world record for knitting. I ain't kidding. NRK will televise 5 hours of knitting, as they try and beat the old mark of 4 hours 50 minutes set by Australia. And if that's not bad enough, there's going to be a 4 hour pre-game show of sorts, with a documentary on how wool goes from a sheep's back to a sweater. Oh my fucking god!
   This isn't the first time NRK has broadcast such riveting entertainment either. They went live 5 days a week chronicling a voyage of a coastal cruise ship, Nordnorge. That was continuous coverage. I did see the one hour cut down version of that, and it looks like one hell of a great trip to take sometime. But live coverage?!?
   And if that's not enough, the public broadcaster also aired live footage of a fire dying down to embers. Hold me back! I know they have a lot of American shows on their TV (not dubbed into Norwegian either, but subtitled), but you'd think if they were trying to attract anyone who's not a die-hard knitting fan to watch, they'd showcase something else.
   I should call my local provider to see of we can get NRK for this epic. I'll DVR it, and play it when I have chronic insomnia.
   'Nuff said.

Uhh. Sure, If You Say So

   In Saudi Arabia, a conservative cleric (are there any other kinds?) has come out saying women should not be allowed to drive, because it will damage their ovaries and/or result in them having kids with clinical difficulties. Like what? Becoming a conservative Saudi cleric? Apparently, it's in response to the push in that country to allow women the right to drive. Proponents of female drivers are now calling on the fairer sex to get behind the wheel October 26th in defiance of the "men only" driving law on the books.
   Needless to say, that spawned an immediate response from the powers that be, all of whom seem to have their heads up their dishdasha. Or a camel's ass. They simply shut down the website for the campaign in the entire kingdom. Typical religious knee-jerk reaction from a bunch of misogynists who only like progress when it suits them.
   Quoting the head nut-case "If a woman drives a car, not out of pure necessity, that could have negative physiological impacts as functional and physiological medical studies show that it automatically affects the ovaries and pushes the pelvis upwards. That is why we find those who regularly drive have children with clinical problems of varying degrees."
   Bull fucking shit. what about women who are PASSENGERS in the car? The stone-age stone head didn't think of THAT did he? Unless women aren't allowed to be passengers in cars either.
   Unfortunately in that region, women are sometimes, if not mostly, observed as property and not equals, and are seen as a potential challenge (if not an outright threat) to the Saudi way of life. Not all Muslims and followers of Islam are like that. I personally know a few Muslim women who are not only allowed, but urged by their husbands to get behind the wheel. Their husbands have said as much.
   So, on October 26, drive on Saudi women, drive on.
   'Nuff said.

It Has To Stop

    Once again, a young life has ended after a bullying episode. This time, a 15 year old boy in Saskatchewan took his own life after years of bullying. Todd Loik was 2 weeks away from his 16th birthday when his mother found his lifeless body in their home September 9th. Once again, calls are going out to try and stop what seems to me to have become an epidemic of physical and on-line torment and attacks that so often end in the suicide of the victim.
   Far too often, young people have killed themselves, rather than endure continued, repeated, often ignored episodes. Already several provincial governments are looking at anti-bullying laws, Saskatchewan included. And after Todd's case came to light, Canada's justice minister also promises something will be done.
   The question is.....what? For obvious reasons, no jurisdiction can set up, maintain and run an anti-bullying system 24/7/365. Just monitoring the internet, facebook, twitter, chat rooms etc. is a nigh on impossibility. Perhaps what's needed is a 24/7/365 phone line for victims of bullying to call before they take that last irrevocable step. Police also need more power to deal with such attacks. Courts need to be able to sentence perpetrators to harsh jail time on conviction.
   More importantly in my country, Canada, the stupid, useless Young Offenders Act needs to be scrapped. Kids under 18 can't be named in any crime. Even a murder, which to me a bully driven suicide is. Splash the name of the criminal fuck all over the newspapers and TV.
   Something needs to be done, and it needs to be done soon, so another family like Todd Loik won't have to go through what they are right now.
   'Nuff said.

Hey, Benny! Denial Is A River In Egypt

   Yup! Ex-pope Benny 16 has spoken for the first time since his retirement. And he denied covering up the sexual abuses of priests. So, what else is new? Seems the emeritus pope, as he is now known, addressed the issue in a detailed letter to a prominent atheist. At least he's talking. To an atheist, as well. It is thought to be the first time that Benedict has publicly rejected personal responsibility for covering up abuse. And, while admitting the horror of abuse, he insisted priests had no greater tendency to paedophilia than anyone else. Cough (bullshit) cough.
   He's probably been doing that behind the scenes for years. To be fair for a change, he did categorically deny covering up anything, and maybe for once I should actually believe him. But even if Ben truly didn't know about the sexual predators trolling his church, (which I doubt), someone, somewhere very high up in the hierarchy did. Maybe they purposely cut Benny out of that picture, and given the scandals that preceded his departure earlier this year, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
   Of course, this may be problematical for new pope Frank 1, since Benny's not supposed to be speaking out now that he's retired. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what and how Frankie responds to the scandal. If at all.
  Remember boys, De-Nile is a river in Egypt. Denial is an attempt to cover something up.
   'Nuff said.

Mamma M.I.A! That's A Lawsuit!

   That far from ugly woman is M.I.A. She did an ugly thing during the half-time show at the 2012 Superbowl when she extended her fuck finger to an audience of 100 million. And now she's being sued by the NFL for breach of contract for doing it. (See my blog of February 6, 2012 for the back-story.) It's also alleged she said "I don't give a shit" while performing with Madonna.
   In their statement of claim, the NFL alleges the now 38 year old Brit violated her contract by the offensive gesture, and tarnished the league's reputation. And they want 1.5 million dollars. Needless to say, M.I.A's lawyers will fight it. They even say the NFL is being hypocritical for going after the singer for flashing he fuck finger, while claiming to be "wholesome" in light of "weekly felonies committed by its stars, the bounties placed by coaches on opposing players, the homophobic and racist comments uttered by its players, the complete disregard for the health of players and the premature deaths that have resulted from same, and the raping of public entities ready to sacrifice public funds to attract teams."
   Sorry to say this, bitch (and your something sucking lawyers): It ain't the league, but INDIVIDUAL players who are allegedly doing what's listed above. And as an INDIVIDUAL "entertainer", you extended the finger. So suck it up, buttercup. Pay the fine. It's not like you can't afford it. And when you've paid it, disappear back into obscurity.
   'Nuff said.

What Smells Like Maple Syrup?

   That's the question New Yorkers have been asking recently, specifically Queens, Manhattan and even New Jersey, after smelling a smell they say is exactly like maple syrup. And it's not the first time, either. There was a similar incident in 2005, and again in 2009.
   As to the cause.....well, New York's mayor is blaming a company in New Jersey that makes fragrances and flavorings for food. The company isn't commenting. New Yorkers, however, have started getting overwhelming urges for pancakes and waffles.
   Some even say Canadians have been seen crossing the border in a zombie like state, muttering names of food items like French Toast!
   Sound like a new sci-fi/horror movie to me. Attack of the Killer Canadian Maple Syrup Zombies! They're not after bwaaaiiins this time, but they are after your waffles! Quick! Someone get me a fork, and a stack of flapjacks.
   'Nuff said.

Mon Dieu! No Honey Boo Boo? Bravo, France. Bravo!

   What's got me going hip-hip-hurrah is the fact the French government may be banning beauty pageants for children under 16. About time. It's gotten to the point now where "reality" shows like Toddlers and Tiara's have gotten to big. And it's really not about the kids, either. It's about their controlling parents who sometimes coerce their little treasure into these so-called pageants. Not that a few don't want to do it, but for the most part it's nothing but a meat-grinder, and these little girls are being turned into hamburger.
   These not only can, but probably do, hurt their self esteem, and leave them feeling guilty that they've let Mommy Dearest down when they lose. But then, the parents simply pack them away like a little China doll, and head to the next emotional slaughterhouse.
   In case you're wondering at this point whether or not I watch these "shows".....well, let me state categorically that I'd rather watch American Idol than these idiotic excuses for "entertainment". And I loath American Idol.
   Another problem I can see with these shows is simple. There's probably more than one sick fuck out there who gets his jollies from watching these girls on stage. People who should be tracked down, pulled from their mother's basements and summarily executed before they actually get a chance to harm a child.
   So, Bravo French government. I hope you pass the bill outlawing these shows.
   As for Honey Boo-Boo.....I guess you really CAN put lipstick on a pig.
   'Nuff said.

A Classic Car Indeed

   I remember when the Ford Mustang came out in the 1960's. I remember bugging my dad about getting one. I also remember him saying "NO" very firmly. Well, a Chicago woman may well have been the first person to publicly buy what became a motoring icon.
   The woman bought a skylight blue convertible Mustang April 15th, 1964. And has the paperwork to prove it. What's so special about this is the car was bought 2 days before the official launch in New York. Technically, the model year was 1964 1/2. And not only does she and her family have the sales slip, they still have the car 49 YEARS after it was bought.
   The bill lists it as a power top convertible, with cruise-o-matic, power steering, an AM radio, something called a rally pac, deluxe seatbelts, 2 speed electric wiper and washer, padded visors and even back-up lights! And the cost with her 400 dollar trade was $3,119.40.
   The car was a daily driver, so there was some rust damage, but it had also been stored for 27 years in a garage, suffering "careful neglect". It has been restored, and was even driven at the Indy 500 recently. And to top everything off, it only has 68 thousand original miles on it. What wasn't said is how valuable it is. From what I've seen, anything from 16 to 42 thousand. Then again, they weren't the first ever sold to the public.
   I kinda hope the family hangs onto it.
   'Nuff said.

The Little Spacecraft That Could: Did It!

   Voyager 1 has left the solar system. I've blogged  couple of times about this remarkable little spacecraft, launched in 1977 (36 years ago), and how scientists had said at 12 billion miles out, it was nearing the boundary between our solar system and interstellar space (see my blogs of December 4, 2012 and June 27 of this year). Now, scientists say, after a few false alarms, Voyager 1, which is about the same size as a sub-compact car, has crossed over. They used measurements of charged particles hitting the craft. And a bunch of other rocket-science ways of determining it.
    And they now say it's left the influence of the sun's Heliopause, and is now being struck by particles from outside the sphere of influence. Or something like that. But they also caution that even though the probe has left the suns influence behind, it is still technically in the solar system. That's because of the Oort cloud, where comets come from. And it won't be clear of that for some 30 thousand years. And Voyager continues sending data back, and will continue doing so until 2025 when the plutonium power source finally runs down.
   After that.....well, if there is other intelligent life out there (which I believe there is), they may find either Voyager 1 or 2, and get a chance to listen to the Golden Record with sounds and pictures of what the 3rd rock from the sun was like in the 1970's.
   Carry on Little Spacecraft That Could!
   'Nuff said.

I Hate Being A.F.K.

   In layman's terms, that's Away From Keyboard. But it's something I'm going to have to get used to. I now have to commute between job and home, until I find a place in my new city. But in the meantime, it means I'm AFK from Sunday to Friday.
   Why does this bother me so much? Simply put, it's occasions like this:

   This past Wednesday was the 12th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks on New York, Washington and the one that ended in a field in Pennsylvania after passengers of Flight 93 decided to take the plane down and spare who knows how many lives.
   I remember vividly watching the events unfold on that September day in 2001. I, like so many others, was glued to the TV watching with horror the whole morning unfold. I was almost late for work because I was in disbelief that something that terrible could happen. But of course, it did.
   And on this years anniversary, I got to thinking what other "9-11" moments there had been in my lifetime.
   For me, it was the Kennedy assassination, now almost 50 years ago. For others, it was the shuttle explosion in 1986. Then, there was the death of princess Diana. And the list goes on. It makes you wonder what the next generations "9-11" moment will be. Hopefully, something they'll want to remember. Something like the moon landing. Hopefully, a discovery which will end cancer. Something positive.
   'Nuff said.

Bruno Mars? Who The Hell Is Bruno Mars?

   Seriously. Who the fuck IS Bruno Mars anyway? I Googled him, and supposedly he's some kind of singer or something. I did a you-tube search, and listened to one of his songs. All I can say is: Meh. Kid can sing not bad. Not my kind of music, but unlike Justin Beiber, he can actually sing. Which is a good thing, because he's apparently been tapped as the halftime performer at the next Superbowl.
   And I'm guessing he won't have a nasty surprise like Janet Jackson years ago with "nipplegate" or M.I.A flashing her fuck-finger. And I'm also guessing he won't have any shenanigans like Miley Cyrus at the recent VMA's.
   No one has yet confirmed his appearance, but if this is being "leaked" just as the NFL season starts, it's pretty much a shoe-in for him.
   And you've probably already guessed this, but I AM an old bastard, and my musical tastes run from the late '60's to about 1980. Classic rock. That said, I have bought a few albums in the intervening 33 years, but very, very few.
   Anyway, good luck Bruno!
   'Nuff said.

9-1-1. What Is Your Emergency. Part II

   A tale of terror from New York, where a woman was terrorized in her own home. Cops say the suspect literally crashed through the woman’s skylight, then started wrecking the joint. Damage is 5 thousand dollars. You can hear the fear in the woman’s voice as she tells 9-1-1 operators about the suspect literally flying around her house as she was cornered in her bedroom, afraid to come out.
   But before the cops could get there, the fowl suspect had fled the coop. I guess I should mention at this point the “suspect” was a bird. And not just any bird either.

   It was a wild turkey that broke into the home after apparently seeing it’s reflection in a window, and thinking it was another turkey. I wonder what it’s going to be doing this Thanksgiving? Maybe the guest of honor at a “roast”?
   'Nuff said.

What The Hell Is Going On In Syria?

   Seriously. What the hell IS going on in Syria? We know the Assad government has been accused of using chemical weapons on it's own people. And we know of alleged massacres by the same government. We also know of the rebels trying to unseat Bashar Al-Assad from power. That goes back to the "Arab Spring" of a couple of years ago when people got tired of their oppressive regimes and took to the streets demanding change.
   In some cases, including Syria, the government is fighting back. Assad doesn't want what happened to Muammar Gaddafi to happen to him. But the crackdown has now lead some nations, including the U.S, to ponder what to do with the government and Syria itself. There have been calls for military intervention. Either support for the rebels (which they're already getting) to an outright Iraq style invasion.
   The French are also pondering military action. A move Assad himself says would have "negative repercussions", without giving a for instance. He also challenged the U.S and France to show some proof of the attack.
   The wild-card in all this is, of course, Israel. What would happen if Syria decided to try and gain support from other Arab states by attacking Israel? And what would Israel do? They have the right to defend themselves against an attack from an aggressor nation, just as the U.S, France and Syria have. The difference in this case is neither the Israelis, French or American's have been accused by anyone of massacring or using WMD's on their own people.
   So, what does the future hold for Bashar and crew? I dunno, but if I was part of the Syrian government right now, I think I'd be looking for a nice quiet house in the capital of some friendly state. That's if they have any friends left.
   And once again, I have to hit the road for the rest of the week, but I'll be back!
   'Nuff said.

Dude! That Ain't No Drone!

   In Egypt, officials were called by a citizen who thought he saw a big flying thing, supposedly spying on him. It was a small town 450 km outside Cairo. But it wasn't a U.S or Israeli drone. Nor was it even mechanical. So what was it that got our friend's dishdasha in a knot? A bird. That's right, a fucking migratory bird! It was one of 5 that landed near the man's house, but there was something different about this feathered friend. He had an electronic device attached to it. That's what got farmer Abdul in a tizzy.
   And the device was placed there on purpose too. By the French. As a tracking device. To observe the migratory pattern of said bird. The device was rendered inactive after it crossed the French border. And given the current state of things in Egypt, this isn't the first time a concerned citizen has contacted authorities about something suspicious.
   Earlier this year a security official captured a pigeon he thought was carrying microfilm. Then there was the time officials though Israel was behind a series of shark attacks along the Mediterranean coast!.
   As for the bird in question.....it hasn't been allowed to "fly the coop" just yet, and is being held in a cage. Just to be safe, I guess. I just wonder what the authorities will do to try and get it to "sing".
   'Nuff said.

Here Kitty, Kitty!

   There have been a few stories in the news lately in British Columbia about people seeing cougars in parts of some cities.
   So far, no one or no one's pet has been hurt by the big cat, but officials are cautioning people about keeping a close eye on their small children and their pets just in case. One recent example was one seen near a daycare in Victoria earlier this summer.
   And not only kids could be at risk. One guy says he was having a nap in his backyard when he saw one a cougar sizing him up. Luckily, it decided against making a move on the guy, jumped a fence and fucked off.
   Cops did show up, but weren't able to confirm the cougar was actually there.
   There was another case in Vancouver, this time seen by firefighters, who confirmed the cat scaled a retaining wall and booked it.
   And as if THAT wasn't enough, a cougar was spotted in the bar area of another city.
   Fortunately, someone managed to get this picture:

   Makes me wonder when "cougar" season opens!
   'Nuff said.

I'm Back!

   At least for a few days. I have the luxury of being able to commute on weekends, so here I am. And I think I'll look at "celebrities".
   As you know, I don't watch awards shows. I hate the fucking things for several reasons. They're boring as all hell, and I don't know, or give a shit about, who most of the people are. So I didn't see Miley Cyrus' "simulated sex" escapade at the VMA's. Or whatever they're called. Anyway, she got a phony "doggie style" from whoever the other presenter was, then gave herself a crotch massage with a finger. She was dressed, and the finger was one of those giant foam ones you see at sporting events. Well, it seems the man who invented them isn't to pleased with how Miley used it. I just hope she never makes a REAL sex tape.
   Speaking of sex, it seems an admission from Michael Douglas may have cost him his marriage. It seems he and Cathy Zeta-Jones have "taken a marriage hiatus" to "work things out". It wasn't that long ago Mike came out saying performing oral sex on women with the HPV virus may have bee a contributor to his throat cancer. I bet that made Cathy feel real good.
   I'll try and have something a little more substantive tomorrow, but for now:
   'Nuff said.

Movin' On

   From time to time, shit happens for one reason or other. And so it is for your humble blogger. The company I work for has decided to "shake things up" a bit, moving several people around. And so it is for me. I've been transferred to another branch of the operation, and actually start tomorrow (Monday). Due to this, I won't be able to access my computer for the next few days (maybe a week) while I find temporary lodging.
   Once I do, you can be assured "I'll Be Back".
   So for now, and until then: Life sometimes serves you lemons. I plan on making lemonade.
   'Nuff said.

They're Putting Ad's On What Now?

   Yup. Toilet paper. Bog roll. Asswipe. After dinner rolls. Dingleberry removal paper. Call it what you will. A restaurant near Duke University in North Carolina has started using T.P with a QR code on them which allows patrons a "buy one, get one free" dessert coupon, along with ad's for other businesses. And apparently, it works! The owner of the eatery says he's seen people coming out of the rest room with up to 4 1/2 feet of the stuff in their hands. Unused, of course. They've also been taking them up on the "buy one, get one" offer.  I knew a lot of restaurants made up "doggy bags" of your left overs. I didn't know that extended to toilet paper.
   Printing stuff of T.P is nothing new. I've seen everything from crosswords to cartoons on it. But this is one of the first times someone has used it for advertising. At least that I've heard of. In exchange for the ads, the restaurant is using the stuff. Why? Well, one of the inventors of the stuff says: “We supply the toilet paper to venues for free in exchange for demographic information so we can be sure advertisers are targeting who they want." No word on how much they charge for the stuff.
   And they plan to expand as well, to places like theatres and stadiums. This makes a lot of sense as well. Most advertising is nothing but shit anyway, so why not put it on paper and make good use out of it?
   But you almost have to wonder how far this fad will go. I mean, I don't think a lot of women will welcome printed ad's on their "feminine" paper products.
   'Nuff said.

There's Dumb, And Then There's This Guy

   As a law abiding citizen, I think any crime is dumb. Some dumber than others. Then, there are the crooks themselves who can be extremely stupid. We've all heard the tale of the would be crook who tried to shimmy down a chimney, only to get stuck.
   Then, there are the ones who are too dumb to disguise themselves or cover their face at all while committing their crime.. This guy, however, may top the list.
   It seems buddy tried to stick up a gas bar. He told the clerk he had a weapon, and wanted the money. The clerk did something stupid as well.....he didn't hand over any cash. Our would be crook didn't hurt the clerk, simply got in his car and fucked off. Well, until his conscience got the best of him. Instead of lying low, our zero returned to the gas bar to APOLOGIZE to the clerk. Of course, by the time he got back, the cops were there and busted him on the spot.
   Here's hoping the judge takes his remorse into account when it's time to sentence the bozo.
   'Nuff said.

Mmm.....Hamburger!!

   And a 25 year old woman in England won't be eating one, or anything else, for a while. That's because she's on a sort of diet. After dislocating her jaw, that is. After just one bite, she dislocated her jaw eating the triple patty hamburger. Topped with pretzels. And candied bacon. That's when she started feeling the pain in her jaw, and found out the day after that it was dislocated when she went to the hospital after it started swelling.
   Did I also mention she has a disorder that can cause frequent joint dislocations? Anyway, the Liverpool Lass is on the mend.....and vows to go back to the restaurant in question for "another bite". No word if the "Jaws of Life" will be on standby. Sorry, I couldn't resist!
   'Nuff said.

Trains vs People: American Style

   Last year, you'll no doubt remember, I kept a running tally of people in Canada who were killed or survived after being hit by trains. The survivors were almost all extremely drunk at the time. The final tally was actually closer than I expected with "trains" winning 7-6.
   From the States comes a tale I thought I'd share about a man who was smacked by a train going more than 177 k/mh (110 mph), and living to talk about it. Our guy was crossing a set of tracks and was hit by the Amtrack express. The impact knocked him some 6 meters (20 FEET) through the air. He's got broken bones, but will survive. This, after the engineer tried blowing the whistle and hitting the brakes. Did I mention the guy was listening to music on headphones at the time?
   The big question, of course, is how the guy survived and wasn't turned into a red splotch on the front of the engine. Someone suggested he was pushed aside by the massive wave of air in front of the locomotive. Possible, I guess.
   Whatever, this guy is one of the luckiest fuckers out there! Maybe he should buy a powerball ticket. Once he gets out of hospital, of course.
   'Nuff said.

Mmmmm!!! Donuts!

   And not just any donut, either. Tim Horton's held a public contest to come up with the next great taste in donuts. 63 thousand people entered, and the winner is an Ontario man for his creation: "The Tortoise Torte", which is a mash-up of chocolate, caramel and pecans. Kinda like Turtles chocolates. It beat out creations like "The Oreo Borealis" among others.
   Canadian born actor Jason Priestley was one of the judges in the contest. No word if a bunch of cops "rounded" out the panel.
   And what does the winner get, aside from having his donut on sale? 10 thousand dollars. Sounds chintzy to me, when Tim's stands to make a whack lot more off the sale of this thing. I think it's be better to give the guy the 10 grand, PLUS a slice of profit from the sale as well.
   Now, I have to wait for the Tortoise Torte to make it's way into a Timmy's near me. Waiting. Waiting.......
   'Nuff said.

9-1-1. What Is Your Emergency?

   You've no doubt heard those calls on American cop T.V shows. Someone's loved one is in dire trouble, and the only person they can reach is the 9-1-1 dispatcher. Or there's a fire in someone's home. Or a horrific accident. The kind of calls the system was set up and designed to deal with.
   Then, there's the other side of the coin. People accidentally pocket-dialing 9-1-1 is becoming a large problem for police, fire and EMS agencies. And then, there's the segment of society that simply can't or don't understand what it was set up for. I'm talking about people who call 9-1-1 because McD's ran out of lemonade. Or kids calling for help with their homework.
   Well, today's tale fits right in with the last category. It seems a guy in western Canada called 9-1-1 to report his girlfriend wouldn't cook him breakfast! Our hero was extremely drunk at the time. Needless to say, the cops were far from amused, and did a trace-back on the number and found the guy. Who was arrested. And charged. And not just with making a phony 9-1-1 call either. No, our friend was also charged with assault, for allegedly threatening his own sister with a chair! Lets hope this guy never reproduces. Ever.
   I'm thinking the next "emergency" call this guy makes could well be from his jail cell, where he's being "broken in" by a fellow inmate.
   'Nuff said.

She Just Won't Go Away

   Yeah, as much as I, and a lot of others, were hoping she'd fade into obscurity, Maygan Sensenberger is back. And once again on screen. The 24 year old wife of  69 year old Rod Zimmer is "starring" in another video. It's called "The Candy Doll", and.....as you probably have already worked out.....May is the "doll". A sex doll, to be exact. Surprise, surprise. Type casting at it's best.
   I won't bore you with the details (the vid's on You Tube if you really want to watch it), other than to say I think old Rod's the luckiest 69 year old man on earth right now.
   I also think I know what caused his "health related" problem that lead to his retirement from the Canadian Senate this summer. (See my blog of August 7th "Remember These Folks".) The male "star" of this "film", which is filled with sexual innuendo, gets to do to May what the senator has done.....cop a feel! No wonder the old boy had to be hospitalized with "breathing difficulties". I'm surprised the old guy didn't have a heart attack!
   And don't think she's done with her "acting" career just yet. It seems Maygan s in line for a "starring role" in an upcoming feature film. Yeah, right. I just wonder what "role" she'll be playing this time. Cue the 1970's porn music.
   'Nuff said.

Political Correctness Is Running Amok

   Which is why it's time for it to end. Not that it ever will, of course. These days it seems you can't say anything to anyone without causing offense. Or wear what you'd like. At least not without some P.C bozo getting their panties in a knot. There are a couple of examples I'm going to share to make my point. In the States, Nike has had to yank a clothing line with geometrical designs. Not 'cause if you squint you can see an offensive word. Fuck no! The women's running clothes were decorated with a pattern based on Samoan tattoos called pe'a, which are traditionally reserved for men. And someone complained. Typical. As for the items in question, they really are ugly. The tattoo's are, well, tattoo's. And I must admit, they do look better on skin than a clothing line. Still, give me a break.
   In Canada, First Nations people are also in a tizz over a headband. Well, 3 of them are anyway. And that forced the store in question to pull ALL of the headbands. Why? Colored feathers. That's right! Colored feathers. It seems one of the complainants fired off an e-mail to the retailer in question, basically saying the item was offensive because such headbands and headdresses are reserved for chiefs, and is therefore disrespectful. Again, give me a break!
   And if THAT's not enough. there was a story earlier this month about people in Ukraine being pissed off about a toilet bowl cleaner being sold in Germany. Why? Did it look like Ukraine's flag or something?

   Actually, yeah. It kinda did. And that's why the maker had to yank them from sale in Eastern Europe.
   I realize in today's society we do have to watch what we say. Up to a point. I would certainly never use a racist slur toward any group. But that's just about where my political correctness comes to an end.
   In the case of the above mentioned items.....if you don't like them, don't buy them. And if you feel strongly enough about it, don't go back into the store, But quit fucking bitching and whining and forcing your minority views and opinions on others. If I wanted to wear geometric tattoo designed clothing and a headband with feathers to buy a blue and yellow toilet cleaner, that's my choice. I'd look like a complete tool, but it's still MY choice.
   'Nuff said

I Think I'm Going To Be Sick

   And what's got the barf bucket on stand-by is a new snack making it's debut in Japan. Now, I'm all for having a few Cheetos now and then, and washing then down with a fizzy soda. But not combined. Yup! Pepsi flavored Cheetos have hit snack food shelves in the Land of the Rising Sun. And, apparently, the proper formal name is "Frito Lay Cheetos x Pepsi Shuwa Shuwa Cola Corn Snack".  Basically, it's Cheetos covered in cola powder. Oh, my fucking god!
   But then, why not? They already have wasabi flavored Kit-Kat bars, among other odd things. Some of their candy is a bit intriguing. There's some you can actually turn into what looks like sushi, although it does require quite a bit of mixing and effort to get the end result. And while it's either grape or cherry flavored, once properly prepared it sure looks like the real magilla.
   And really, when you look at things like the Krispy Kreme burger or Sloppy Joe, or the donut-croissant hybrid "cro-nut" burger being sold in Canada, is it really that weird? Or for that matter, hedgehog flavored crisps in Britain? Yeah, it is.
   And if you were wondering, yes. You can buy some in Canada. Through e-bay at $3.99 a pop. Will I try it? Even though I'm a bit adventurous when it comes to food....no. If I want Cheetos washed down with a cola, well, I'll just get the above mentioned items and enjoy them. Separately.
   'Nuff said.

Bitch, Whine, Complain

   That pretty much sums up the reaction from a member of Canada's (unelected) Senate after an audit found improperly claimed expenses. It's been a major scandal in my country ever since several APPOINTED members of the upper house were caught with their fingers in the proverbial cookie jar. Allegedly, they were claiming expenses they weren't entitled to.
   Well, one of the senators in question has been ordered to pay back 360 thousand dollars, and will pay interest, but is far from happy about it. The senator in question says the audit done by an external company was flawed, and the process was unfair. Just like (allegedly) claiming expenses you were not entitled to? The probe also claims the upper chamber members calendar had retroactively been "amended", which the senator denies.
   The case of the (alleged) questionable expense claims is, of course, leading to calls in my country to either radically amend the senate.....or scrap it altogether. Personally, I favor abolition. The senate was supposed to be the chamber of sober second thought, where government legislation was vetted thoroughly before being passed into law.
   Unfortunately, it's become a dumping ground for political patronage, where cronyism reigns supreme, and the government of the day simply appoints however many more they need to get their legislation passed.
   If we are to keep the upper chamber, then we need to take a page from the Americans, and have an elected senate, with strict seat numbers AND term limits. But since either of those solutions are not likely to happen in the short term, I guess we're in for more of the same. I just hope the company that did the audit has lots of staff, 'cause I think that given the current state of the senate, they're gonna need them
   'Nuff said.

What's In A Name Part 2

   A while back, I blogged about an Icelandic girl and her mother who were having trouble with that country's "Official Names" registry. It was because her mom had her christened "Blaer" without checking the registry of approved names first. They went to court and won.
   I knew Iceland and a few other countries had such an odious registry, but not the U.S.A. Well, Tennessee at least. It all stems from a court hearing to decide the last name of a 7 month old boy, after the parents couldn't agree on it. They wanted to call the kid "Messiah DeShawn Martin". The judge ordered the parents to change it to "Martin DeShawn McCullough, saying "messiah" is a title, reserved for Jesus. The judge, apparently a backwoods bible thumper, has thus forced her religious beliefs on the parents, who say they'll appeal. So much for the separation of church and State, huh?
   So, what about any Muslims who move to the area (not that many likely would)? If their son is named Mohammed, will they be forced to change the name? What about Jewish people with a son named Israel? Or a Hispanic with a son named Jesus? Will they also have to change their kid's name?
   The story I saw said there were 762 applications for the NAME Messiah last year in the States. As a devout atheist, I really wonder what the fuck is the judge's problem is. And why SHE decided the name wasn't suitable to anyone else? Sure, some names should probably be banned. Adolf Hitler comes to mind. But for shit sake, put the Big Book Of Thou shalt Not (the bible) down judgy-wudgy, and quit forcing your beliefs on other people!
   'Nuff said

A Round Of Applause, Please!

   It's happened to us all at one time or another. You make a reservation at your favourite restaurant for a nice dinner out with your someone special. You get nicely dressed, and hit the high spot for some culinary excellence. That's when someone else's little snot nosed brat starts throwing a hissy at the table right next to you. You ask the waiter to check if there might be a table to move to, but the eatery is jammed. You might also ask the parents of the little shit as politely as possible to have Johnny or Katy shut the fuck up (not using those words), only to be met with a stony stare from said parents as the brat continues wailing and throwing stuff, including food, around.
   In Texas, one restaurant owner has taken some steps to make your dining experience more pleasurable by banning kids under 8. After 7:00 p.m. Cue the applause. It seems the owner had been getting complaints from patrons who were subjected to behaviour from kids who need to be put on lithium. Or Ritalin. Some customers were saying they left their kids home with a sitter, but were still subject to others running amok, screaming and throwing things. The kind of shit that if I tried at a family meal at a restaurant growing up would have resulted in my dad rendering me unable to sit down for a week.
   And it seems this place isn't the only one to go kid-free either. A restaurant in Pennsylvania banned kids under 6 a couple of years ago, and one in Virginia banned anyone under 18!
   Now I don't have a problem with people taking their kids out for a meal. I did it plenty of times myself. But I never took them to a high end place. It was Rotten Ronnies or a pizza joint. When my wife and I wanted an evening out, we'd book a table at a real nice place, and get a sitter!
   And while not all young kids misbehave at a restaurant, enough do for me to give a Ratbag seal of approval to the Texas place.
   'Nuff said.

It's A Weird, Weird World

   And a couple of things point that out. First, from Australia, comes word about a 7 year old boy who wandered into the bush country, chasing after a wallaby. Luckily, the tyke was spotted 24 hours later by a search helicopter sent to scour the area. It seems the lad spent the night in the bush, sleeping under a tree. But he was kept warm, though. By a kangaroo! Seems Skippy approached the boy, who fed it flowers he'd been picking for his mom. The 'Roo the fell asleep right next to him, keeping him warm through the winter night. He's o-kay, but reeks a bit of kangaroo.
   In Scotland, a road works crew needs remedial English lessons. Seems the workers were told to paint a warning in front of an elementary school. The message was supposed to say "School - Keep - Clear". But one of the words was misspelled. And it wasn't the typical "Skool" misspelling. School was actually spelled "Sckool".
   Epic fail!
   'Nuff said.