Why? Just, Why?

   The stuff in that bottle could be coming to a liquor store shelf near you soon, and you'd better have eclectic tastes. It's the world's most consumed alcohol and, since it's from China, you can probably understand why. The official name is baijiu, but it's most often to referred to as Chinese firewater and is sold pretty much across Asia.
   So what? It looks like Vodka or Everclear, and while it doesn't have the punch of the latter, it does have it's own unique characteristic. The 110 proof booze, some say, tastes like paint thinner, and drinking it is something akin to a liquid lobotomy. And why is China so keen to sell their booze here? Well, it seems young people in that country have developed a taste for imported booze. Things like Glenfiddich 12 year old scotch.
   And already, people are looking for ways to market it. Some suggest having it with a Chinese meal, something like Sake is to Japanese cuisine. Others are simply re-filtering it to make it more drinkable.
   What's it made of? What crop becomes the basis for this stuff? Either sorghum or glutinous rice.
   Will I try it if it comes to my area? Fuck no. I like my liver! And anything that tastes like paint thinner should probably be used for just that. Thinning paint.
   'Nuff said.

Attack Of The Killer Beaver

   It's true! In Belarus, a 60 year old man died after being attacked by the beaver he was trying to photograph. Now, you don't normally acquaint the beaver with a fatal attack, even though they have nasty, long, sharp, pointy teeth that continually grow.
   I mean at worst, you'd think our guy would get a few bites, maybe lose a little skin, have stitches and survive. But this particularly nasty beaver bit the mans leg so hard he severed the femoral artery, and our guy bled to death.
   And while this is an extreme case, there have been other reports of beavers attacking people, cars and what have you due to a population boom of the toothy critters.
   I guess in this case, the beaver really did have teeth!
   'Nuff said.

She Was Really Bugged!

   When I was (much) younger, a bunch of friends and myself would sometimes get up to no good. Every now and then, we'd find a neighborhood we weren't known in and start playing "running rabbit". It's also called "ring and run", where each member of the group, in turns, would walk up to a different door, ring the door bell, then scamper as fast as our little legs could take us. Hopefully before the owner got to the door and opened it. Of course, we'd peer around a hedge or fence and hopefully see the reaction. Silly, really, when you look back on it.
   In Germany recently, an elderly woman was the victim of a seemingly endless game of "running rabbit". In fact, the 75 year old Offenburg woman was so bugged by the incessant ringing of her doorbell, that at 3:00 a.m she called the cops to complain. When the Polizei arrived, they investigated and found the little buggers responsible.
   Maybe, that should just be "bugs".

   Yup! Ants. Or in German "Ameise" had built a nest in her wall, so close to the door bell, it went off just about every time something in the hive moved. A few minutes work with a knife, police had the nest taken care of, and the woman could get back to sleep.
   And as for kids playing "running rabbit" on me.....well, it doesn't work. Usually if I hear the bell, by the time I get out of my office in the basement, whoever it was has gone. Which isn't a bad thing, since the majority of the time is a politician looking for support. Or some religious fool looking for a convert. I have a way to get rid of the latter, and I'll tell you sometime in the future. But for now:
   'Nuff said.

Maybe They Just Couldn't Wait?..UPDATE

   A couple of airborne stories to pass on to you today. One from the U.S, where a man allegedly tried to open an emergency door on an Alaska Airlines flight from Alaska to Oregon. That would be bad enough as it is, but this plane was still in the sky! It seems our hero (or zero as the case may be) was muttering unusual statements before trying to pry the door open as the flight was descending.
   He didn't get far, as several passengers and flight crew quickly tackled and hog-tied him with shoelaces and seat belt extensions. When they had him trussed up like Auntie May's Thanksgiving turkey, they propped him in a seat with several "big guys" around him for safe measure. Needless to say, he's facing charges.
   From Canada comes story of another impatient passenger. But unlike the guy above, this one actually did manage to pop open an emergency door as the plane was taxiing in, and did manage to jump to the apron below. He was arrested, then taken to hospital for treatment of supposed minor injuries.
   Now, I know de-planning is a bitch, but that's a little ridiculous!
   And one final note: Happy Memorial Day to my American friends.
   'Nuff said.
   *****I found out a little more about our 2nd hero in this story. He did bail out of a moving plane in Toronto, but was uninjured. He won't be charged, either, because he has a history of "mental problems". Like peeling open an emergency exit on a moving plane and jumping out.*****

How The Mighty Have Fallen

   And the fall was very hard indeed for the once mighty American Idol. Or Karaoke Night in America as I call it. The ratings are in for the season finale, and shows 14.3 million people tuned in. That's a plunge of 33% from last year, when 21.5 million watched. And it's also less than half of the all-time record of some 38 million in season 2. Which was the only season I actually watched.
   And the news gets even worse. The key young adult demographic the show (and advertisers) target saw a 44% drop from last year. Even though the show has been losing in the ratings all year, the numbers for the big finale must have been a brutal shock to producers. In fact, the season ending show only placed in 3rd in it's timeslot.
   With the only original judge, Randy Jackson, saying adios, and the future of the other 3 in limbo at the moment, you have to wonder how much longer this turkey can continue. I'm sure the show will continue to be milked for at least one season, but I also think the cow has dried up, and the only option left is to turn it into cheap hamburger.
   Will I shed any tears if Idol goes bye-bye? Shit no. I haven't cared for years, and I ain't about to start now.
   'Nuff said.

Ass Kickin' Asses

   And before you ask, I'm not talking about booty-tang, or a woman's "back" or anything like that. In fact, the asses I'm talking about walk around on 4 legs and go "hee-haw". Yep! Those asses. Donkeys if you prefer.
   It seems a 65 year old retired Hungarian firefighter was, and this was a quote from the story I heard, "mauled to death" by 2 donkeys earlier this month. I didn't think donkeys could "maul" someone to death. Bears, tigers and lions can, cause they have razor sharp claws and long nasty pointy teeth. Last time I checked, donkeys didn't.
   What actually happened was the guy was dragged some 50 feet by the asses, who were kicking and biting him. After they dragged him off his motorcycle! What the fuck kind of bike was he riding? A 50 cc Honda Cub? He couldn't get away from the donkeys? That bike admittedly has only 4.8 horsepower, but he still got dragged and trampled?
   And what was wrong with Eeyor and his friend anyway? Was the gloomy place a little too gloomy? A lot of question marks to be sure, and it'll be interesting to find out exactly what happened, if we ever do at all.
   But it was still an epic, albeit final, ass kicking
   'Nuff said.

Good Bye, Sir Alex

   After 27 years and 1,500 games, Sir Alex Fergusson has retired as manager with Manchester United. And he didn't go out on a winning note, as the Red Devils managed a 5-all tie with West Brom United. Still, Man U were champions again, for the 20th time, in 2013. (See my blog of April 24.)
   Sir Alex was a controversial manager, and it's believed his style lead to the departure of several notable players, not the least of who was David Beckham. Still, you can't deny his successes. 13 Premiership wins as manager, 5 FA Cup, 4 League Cup, 2 UEFA Champions League titles, and one each in UEFA Cup Winner's Cup, UEFA Super Cup, Intercontinental Cup and FIFA Club World Cup.
   Kinda speaks for itself, don't it?
   Even though he's retired as manager, Ferguson will remain with the club as a director and ambassador. As for his successor, Man U has tapped Everton manager David Moyes, a fellow Scotsman, to take over.
   Goodbye Alex, and good luck David!
   'Nuff said.
   And yes, I am a Manchester United supporter.

No One Will Out-Run This Cop Car

   That's because cops in Dubai have brought in several Bugatti Veyron Super Sports for their daily on duty rides. You probably know the Veyron has a V-16 engine, kicking out some 1200 bhp, and a top speed of 268.8 mph. In a straight line, of course. And they're not cheap, either, starting at 1.4 million.
   Dubai already has other supercars used on the beat, including a 230 mph Lamborghini Aventador, a 208 mph Ferrari FF, and a 220 mph Aston-Martin One 77.
   No mortal Ford Crown Vic or Dodge Challengers for them! And since the country is very oil rich, filling the tanks won't cost too much, either. But after what happened in China recently to a 500 thousand dollar Lamborghini Gallardo when a journalist totalled one:

   You have to hope the cops in Dubai get proper training on how to drive these things. If they don't, I'd hate to think what their insurance and replacement bills could be!
   'Nuff said

They're Running Out Of What??

   Yup! Toilet paper, bog roll, ass wipe, TP, after dinner rolls, whatever you want to call it, Venezuela is running short of one of the necessities of life. The country has already seen shortages of things like milk, coffee and butter. And now toilet paper. In fact, they've had to import 50 MILLION rolls of shit wipe. And needless to say, the socialist government is blaming the opposition for the shortage of Charmin. Like what? They're stockpiling it? Hording for a rainy day? They also blame "excessive demand". Like people were having too many burrito and beer nights?
   A spokesman goes on to say a lack of foreign currency has resulted in the suspension of imports of raw material etc. Maybe people were having to use the foreign money to try and get rid of  their dingleberries.
   Things are so bad, some people have gone without for 2 weeks! That's one shit of a long time to be using the daily newspaper. Or bills for that matter.
   So, they're importing 760 tons of food, and will "flood the market" with toilet paper, which should (a spokesman claims) "calm the people down". For shit sake, I hope so!
   'Nuff said.

Angelina Jolie Did What!!!???..UPDATE

   I was happily belting down our local expressway listening to the local news this morning, and damn near had an accident when I heard this. Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy. After avoiding the ditch, and several other cars, I also heard the news guy say it was a preventative move. It seems her mom died of breast cancer, and there was an 87% chance the 37 year old Jolie would also develop it. So, in a 3 month long procedure, she had both breasts removed and reconstructed.
   That takes a lot of courage. More than I think I'd have if my quack suddenly told me I had a good chance of developing testicular cancer. I don't know what my decision would be.
   And for Angelina: Your courage in taking this drastic step should be an inspiration to anyone who faces a similar diagnosis.
   'Nuff said.

   *****UPDATE: It seems Angelina isn't through with cancer preventative surgery. It seems she's also having her ovaries removed due to the risk. Is she going too far? Jury's out on that now..*****

Flying Car My Ass

   The Jetsons. I remember growing up watching that cartoon, dreaming of the day we'd all have a flying car. Back in the '60's, it was thought it would simply be a matter of time before we all jetted to work or the store. No more traffic jams, no congestion, nothing.
   Well, in British Columbia, the dream literally fell from the sky recently. A flying car crashed near a schoolyard, slightly injuring the 2 people on board the craft. And technically, while it DID fly, it should be classed more as a 2 passenger motorized para-glider. This thing was about the size of a dune buggy, and instead of wings, it used a para-sail for lift. It does have an aircraft motor and a propeller. Made in Florida, the proper term for the contraption is the I-Tech Maverick SP Powered Parachute.
   Not really close to a flying car, and no where near what the Jetsons used. Some 50 or so years after the fact, I'm still waiting for the flying car. And the personal jet-pack we were also promised. And the robot butler too, for that matter.
   So, until a proper, practical, cost effective flying car with wings and a jet engine is developed, I'll continue getting stuck in traffic jams in my car. And I have a feeling I'll be doing that for a long, long time.
   'Nuff said.

PeTA Strikes Yet Again

   Yup! The Persistent Eco-Terrorist Assholes (PeTA  for short) have struck again. And this time, the retards, dressed in giant condoms, took to the streets in a few city's trying to get us all to spay or neuter our pets. Why use condoms? Well, it seems they've figured out cats and dogs either can't or won't wear them when they do the dirty, and claim it's leading to overpopulation and needless deaths, and the only way to prevent them is getting Fido or Fluffy fixed. What fuckin brainiac figured that out?
   Anyway, it seems 2 of them, one in a giant pink condom, the other in a giant blue one, took to the streets to try and make their point. To bad someone didn't tie off the opening of the damn things and let them suffocate. And yes, I can criticize because my cats have been fixed. And if it's unwanted animals they're trying to prevent, maybe we should have all PeTA members spayed and neutered to prevent them from breeding.
   'Nuff said

Tragic. Just Tragic.

   In rural Kentucky recently, there was a tragedy when a girl was shot and killed. By her own brother. It seems the boy had received a .22 calibre rifle for his birthday. What makes this especially tragic is the boy was 5...and his sister was just 2. The kids mother was home at the time, and says she had just stepped out of the family home minutes before the shooting. It seems the lad found the gun in what was supposed to have been a safe spot. And it was loaded.
   Police are still investigating, but they say it looks like nothing more than a tragic accident.
   The question I have is simply this. Who in their right mind gives a 5 year old boy a .22 rifle? When I was 5, I had a hard time getting my folks to allow me to have a cap gun, let alone the real thing. And any parent should know there is no such thing as a "safe place" for guns. And even if they told the kid umpteen dozen time that the gun can hurt people, you have to wonder if it sank in at all.
   Still, there is no denying this is a tragedy, and condolences to the family.
   'Nuff said

May Day Mayhem

   It is the first of May today, and I've got a few things on the Ratbag radar.
   Seem the bishop of Pittsburgh isn't too happy with a stunt pulled by a college co-ed. Maybe pulled down would be a better way of putting it. Seems the young woman marched bottomless and passed out condoms on campus. Did I mention she was dressed up like the pope? It appears this happened during a parade by arts students (go figure), and the student had also had a new hairstyle. No, not there. Think downward a few feet. Yup! The pubes. And it wasn't a Brazilian either. It seems she had the area shaved in the shape of a cross! Knowing how irritated the face gets after a shave, I just hope she used a balm or something afterward. If not, she might have felt a different religious experience known as "the burning bush". I can understand (sort of) why that would upset the bishop. If you believe everything you hear in the news it seems most catholic clergy prefer bottomless altar boys.
   From the bottom to the top: In Texas a federal judge has tossed out a challenge by several strip clubs over a requirement that their "dancers" wear an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny bikini top, rather than the customary pasties. It seems a local ordnance means the regulation can be applied to clubs not defined as "sexually oriented". But really, what's the point? If the clubs lose their challenge, business might dry up when patrons realize they can see a lot more skin in the latest S.I swimsuit edition. Or the Sears catalogue.
   Finally, a big Happy Anniversary to this guy:

   Yup! It was 2 years ago tomorrow, U.S Navy SEAL team 6 cancelled Osama Bin Laden's membership in the human race, tossing his stinking carcass into the ocean afterward to be turned into fish shit. By this time, I'm thinking the ocean going bottom feeders have probably turned that fish shit into more fish shit! Happy Anni, Osama!
   'Nuff said