I Think I'll Pass On This, Thanks.

   Donuts. Maple bacon. Beer! Sounds kinda appealing, doesn't it? Now, how about them all mixed together. No? Me either. But it's true. In Ontario, liquor outlets will be selling craft beer that tastes like, well, a donut. With maple bacon. It's called, and this is no shit, Voodoo Donut Maple Bacon Ale. Now, I've had a lot of different beers in my time, anything from India Pale Ale to German Wheat Beer to Belgian Lambic. Hell, I've even tried beer with a fucking jalapeno pepper inside. That one burned. Bad.
   This concoction is the latest to hit liquor store shelves in Ontario (no word if it's available in LCBO Beer Stores yet), with other flavor favourites including banana, chocolate and ginger. That last one might actually taste pretty good. I've had the non-alcoholic ginger beer (mixed with black rum as a Dark and Stormy) and it's quite tasty.
   Ironically, this new donut maple bacon beer isn't brewed in Canada, but in Oregon. And there's a saying about most American beer. Drinking it's a lot like making love in a canoe. They're both fucking close to water.
   And while I like donuts, maple bacon and beer, I prefer them separate. So thanks anyway Voodoo, but I'll pass on this. Now, someone pass me a Pilsner Urquell. Or a Dunkelweizen.
   'Nuff said.