He Needs To Die..UPDATED

   You've no doubt seen this guy. He's Luka Rocco Magnotta. He's wanted on a Canada wide warrant for murder. He's also been placed on Interpol's list of wanted criminals. Luka (allegedly) killed a guy. Then cut him up. And mailed a foot to the Conservative Party of Canada office in Ottawa, where it was discovered by an unfortunate person who opened it. That's not all. A hand in a package was found in a Canada Post mail facility. It had been addressed to the Liberal Party.
   And it gets worse. Montreal cops found a decomposing human torso in a locked suitcase behind an apartment building Magnotta was supposedly living in. And it gets worse. It seems Luka videotaped the stabbing death of his victim. It was posted on the 'net before cops had it taken down. Before (allegedly) killing a human, Luka vented his wrath on cats.
   Police also say he had several I.D's he was known to use, and likely skipped the country. That's why Interpol's involved. Not that there's any connection, but Luka was a sometime gay porn actor and model. The sick fuck is also said (though he denied it) to have dated notorious child killer Karla Homolka after she was released from prison after serving 12 years for manslaughter in the deaths of 2 Ontario teens.
   Hopefully, this son of a bitch will turn up dead somewhere and save taxpayers the expense of a trial and lengthy jail sentence. Which he'd probably serve in an isolation wing to keep HIM safe from other inmates. Which is bullshit.
   Normally, I'd have some snide or flippant remark to make at the end of this post. Not today. All I can say is I hope they do find this bastard dead somewhere. And if not, when found guilty, be declared a dangerous offender and locked away for a very long time.
   'Nuff said.
*****UPDATE: Police have identified the victim as 33 year old Jun Lin, a Chinese man studying at Concordia University. Montreal police say Lin moved to the city in July of last year, and that his family reported him missing May 24th. They also say Jun Lin and  Magnotta were in a relationship.

I Think I'll Pass On This, Thanks.

   Donuts. Maple bacon. Beer! Sounds kinda appealing, doesn't it? Now, how about them all mixed together. No? Me either. But it's true. In Ontario, liquor outlets will be selling craft beer that tastes like, well, a donut. With maple bacon. It's called, and this is no shit, Voodoo Donut Maple Bacon Ale. Now, I've had a lot of different beers in my time, anything from India Pale Ale to German Wheat Beer to Belgian Lambic. Hell, I've even tried beer with a fucking jalapeno pepper inside. That one burned. Bad.
   This concoction is the latest to hit liquor store shelves in Ontario (no word if it's available in LCBO Beer Stores yet), with other flavor favourites including banana, chocolate and ginger. That last one might actually taste pretty good. I've had the non-alcoholic ginger beer (mixed with black rum as a Dark and Stormy) and it's quite tasty.
   Ironically, this new donut maple bacon beer isn't brewed in Canada, but in Oregon. And there's a saying about most American beer. Drinking it's a lot like making love in a canoe. They're both fucking close to water.
   And while I like donuts, maple bacon and beer, I prefer them separate. So thanks anyway Voodoo, but I'll pass on this. Now, someone pass me a Pilsner Urquell. Or a Dunkelweizen.
   'Nuff said.

The Butler Did It!

   That's a staple crime-solve of mystery writers around the world when someone gets killed off in the first page or chapter of the story, leading to the master sleuth's inevitable conclusion. Not to mention that popular board game Clue. The butler. In the library. With a candle stick.
   In this case, it seems, the butler really DID do it. And it spells more trouble for the already mired in trouble vatican. We're talking about pope Benny's personal butler turning out to be the leak of 'sensitive' documents from Rome.
   The butler was busted 3 days ago, and is apparently co-operating with police. Singing like a canary if you will. And one of those tunes may have a much darker side. It's been hinted that a high ranking Italian cardinal (the clergy, not the bird) was behind a power struggle involving leaked documents, corruption and intrigue. And the Italian police say it's clear the butler did not act alone in feeding the media those documents.
   This is on top of the firing of the vatican bank president AND publication of a new book detailing a conspiracy among cardinals.
   A vatican investigation (yeah, I trust THAT..not) is what nailed the butler, who reportedly kept a treasure trove of documents in his room, and that his arrest has thrown the holy see into chaos! No shit! But are we really that surprised? I've been blogging about this for weeks, if not months amid these reports. One went as far as saying there was a plot to bump off Benny, who was described as out of touch and isolated.
   So, maybe in this case it IS the butler. In the Sistine chapel. With a file folder. Ah, well. The more the merrier. Lets hope the hits just keep on coming!
   'Nuff said.

They Warned Her..(Revised Death Toll)

   But she didn't listen. A Canadian woman died on the slopes of Mount Everest this past weekend, and it may be due to traffic congestion. Yeah, you read that right. Traffic congestion. It seems there were anywhere from 250 to 300 people trying to reach the summit of the worlds tallest mountain this weekend, and because of bad weather, the Sherpa guides were only able to secure one safety rope. That meant a back-up of anywhere from 2 1/2 HOURS for traffic to pass
   The woman in question, Shriya Shah-Klorifine, died after her oxygen bottles ran out on the way down. A Nepalese guide tried to tell her to turn back and try for the summit another time. Maybe in a year or so. She didn't, and paid the ultimate price. And she wasn't the only one. That same weekend a Spanish climber died while trying to reach the summit, along with 2 others, bringing the total to 4.
   It's not known when Shah-Klorifine's body will be recovered, but it could be sometime in the next 5 or so days.
   Maybe it's time they decided to close down the mountain to casual climbers, since so many are either killed or injured and need to be rescued. I mean really. 300 climbers on the mountain? At one time? That seems a little much to me, but then again the Nepalese probably need the income from those wanting to scale Everest.
   For myself, a 2 1/2 hour wait in vehicular traffic is bad enough in many major Canadian cities, not on what is after all a dangerous expedition. As Shriya Shah-Klorifine found out the hard way. Anyway, I'm not that great when it comes to heights, so Everest is OFF my "bucket list".
   'Nuff said

Better Luck Next Time

   Or you might call this another Darwin that got away. Emergency responders were called to the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara after someone spotted a guy, supposedly in his '40's, swimming in the bottom of the gorge. Apparently after NOT heeding warnings and deliberately climbing  over a retaining wall and jumping into the water.
   Surprisingly enough, he survived the 50 meter plunge, and then waded ashore! Rescuers saw him swimming around, but by the time they rappelled down the steep and rocky gorge, he`d made it out of the swirling water. One rescuer said a few feet one way, and the guy would`ve been swept downstream. A few feet the other way, he`d have been smashed by the rocks. They put him in a rescue basket and had to haul him up. By hand.
   Our hero did not survive unscathed. He`s listed in critical but stable condition with busted ribs and a punctured lung, but he`ll survive. And in doing so, he`s become just the 3rd person to take a tumble over the falls unaided (no barrel or padding or anything) and lived to tell about it. A Canadian man went over them in 2009, a Michigan man in 2003.
   Ironically, today`s survivor was trying to commit suicide!
   `Nuff said.

Miss Universe Canada Is...

   NOT Jenna Talackova. The former Walter Talackova (above) created quite a stir weeks ago when she was booted from the pageant because she was not a natural born female. She appealed the decision, going as far as hiring feminist lawyer Gloria Allred. But pageant owner Donald Trump overruled the committee and let Jenn compete.
   Last (Saturday) night the pageant went ahead with Jenna. And was won by Sahar Biniaz. Jenn didn't make the "final 5", but was part of the top 12. Historic for a transgendered contestant. Among a total of 62 competitors. She was also named one of 4 "miss congeniality" winners.
   Biniaz now moves on to the main world pageant later this year.
   Did I watch? Fuck no. I simply don't care for "beauty" pageants, although I'm sure a lot of folks did just to see how Jenna wound up.
   So, congratulations Jenna for making it as far as you did. But as for not winning......maybe it's for the best.
   'Nuff said.

Get Back To Class..A Rant (New Info)

   So, in Quebec the spineless government FINALLY grew a backbone and legislated an end to 14 weeks of student protests. The students were pissed about tuition hikes at colleges and universities, and took to the streets of several cities, including  Montreal, clashing with police and in some cases damaging property. Many while wearing masks. And the rabble were at it again this weekend, with 69 arrests. The Quebec National Assembly's new law calls for heavy fines for students and their federations, and strict regulations governing demonstrations. And after 14 weeks, who can blame them?
   Needless to say, this has thrown fuel onto the fire in the minds of students, some of who are saying "you ain't seen nothing yet". One student union group went as far as saying it's a declaration of war against them. Boo-fucking-Hoo.
   Sure, it sucks balls to have your expenses rise, and having to pay off loans far in to the future. But, hey! It's happening to an awful lot of people. My mortgage runs for quite a few more years. Renovations to my place don't come thanks to the government. My car loan isn't interest free. My taxes are always going up. But I'm not whining, bitching and causing problems on the street. For that matter, I'm not overly happy that my tax dollars might go to helping some punk ass university student who doesn't go to class 'cause he/she's busy protesting tuition hikes. Sorta sounds like those occupy assholes from last year, complaining about how unfair life is treating them while they text on their android or i-phones while sucking back $8.00 Starbucks living in $300.00 tents in PUBLIC PARKS.
   And now, Ontario students say they will 'strike' this fall to show solidarity with their counterparts in Quebec. Go ahead. But if you do, here's what should happen to you. Any and all funding should be cut. You should lose credit for any and all classes you miss. And if you continue, any and all degrees should be voided, and outstanding student loans collected IN FULL.
   There are a lot of people who want to get an education, and are willing to pay for it. And before you think I'm pro-government on this, think again. Governments NEED to look at funding to make sure they play a role in education, while also juggling health care, infrastructure etc. There are only so many taxpayers out there, and ALL levels of government need to review how taxes are collected, and how they're spent. And if it means a hike in tuition fees, then so be it. Even though the fees will go up 70% over the next 5 years. Shit. They'll only be paying 38 hundred A YEAR. That's a fuck of a lot cheaper than a lot of universities across Canada, let alone places in the States or other parts of the world. Go try rioting and causing property damage in China or North Korea and see how far you get.
   And to the students: If you put as much effort into getting your certificate or degree as you put into complaining, you'd get through the program a lot quicker. Now haul your asses back to your classes and prove you're not all a bunch of whiny little turds.
   'Nuff said

Another Texting Ban

   Arkansas and New York are thinking about a new ban on people texting. Quite a few U.S States, Canadian provinces and other countries already ban texting while driving. Some go even further, banning the use of hand held electronic devices while behind the wheel. So what's the big deal? The big deal is both those States want to ban people from texting while walking. Why? It's simple really. Too many people are happily ambling along, fixated on their favorite hand held device, and are not paying attention to the world around them.
   Some of these people have walked into closed doors. Some have walked off staircases without even realizing it was there. Shit, a while back I blogged about a woman who walked off a fucking pier, straight into one of he Great Lakes. I've had my near misses from people who've walked around corners, head down, so intent on what was on that little screen they've nearly smacked into me!
   And then there are people who are engrossed to the point they walk out into traffic. Sometimes with painful, or even fatal, results. Lawmakers are also thinking about banning ear-buds for i-pods etc, as people out for a run or stroll are also susceptible to being splattered.
   In fact, 3 people in Canada were smacked by freight trains when they couldn't hear the horn 'cause their music was too loud.
   The main problem is enforcement. How in 7 shades of Hades are cops going to monitor this? I'm sure they've got better things to do than be on the lookout for people texting or listening to music. Important things like solving crime. Or making a donut run. Another problem is lawsuits, which I'm almost certain there would be plenty of if such a ban was enacted.
   And the 3rd problem would be for people like me who keep a running tab on idiots who self select themselves out of the gene pool by doing idiotic stuff like texting or listening to music on ear buds while driving or walking.
   Who the fuck would I make fun of if it stopped? So, lawmakers, I implore you. Re-think this new ban so bloggers like me can have a little fun at others expense.
   'Nuff said.

There's Stupid, Then There's This

   In northern New York state, a 24 year old man is in hospital recovering from a gunshot wound in his right leg. Was he some kind of Gansta hip-hop 'artist'?. No. Was he a Mafia target? No. Was this a hunting accident? No. Angry spouse? No.
   Our hero is recovering after, get ready for it, he ASKED a buddy to shoot him in the leg! Apparently, he pestered his 25 year old friend to do it. And pestered. And pestered. Until the guy finally relented and put a .22 in his leg. The friend now faces charges.
   Buddy's just lucky he's still alive, and be able to walk. A .22 might not sound like much, but if you sever a nerve, you may not be able to use the leg again. And if he hit the femoral artery (the MAIN blood vessel running through the the leg), our hero might have ended up a zero.
   Oh, yeah. The reason our pal was after his buddy to pull the trigger was simple. He wanted to know what it felt like to be shot! I guess he knows now that it ain't all that much fun.
   'Nuff said.

Maybe He Just Wanted A Car Wash?

   Or maybe he wanted a drive in pool. Either way, a guy in California is going to have a hefty repair bill after allegedly crashing his luxury Lexus (say THAT 5 times fast) through a cinder block wall, and straight into a swimming pool. An outdoor swimming pool. It happened in the wee hours Sunday morning in some place called La Puente, which is in the San Gabriel valley.
   Seems the family was sleeping soundly, when they heard the sound of metal crunching, blocks falling, and then a huge splash when the car drove into the pool. And fully submerged. And apparently it's not the first time the family's had the wall hit either. In fact they'd joked that someday someone would end up in the pool!
   As for the driver, well, after going through a "T" intersection and a wall, he climbed through a side window to get out. A crane was used to get the car out of the pool.
   But watch for a hot deal in the Autotrader: "One owner, recently washed inside and out. Lexus GS430. May have some water damage. Seats may be damp".
   'Nuff said.

Umm..Isn't He A Little Old?

   Maybe you've seen this. The cover of the recent Time magazine shows a woman breastfeeding her child. She has a top on, but the kid is latched to her left tit. Not normally something you see on a magazine cover, but not something you'd think people would be concerned about. Until you realize the "child" in question is far from a babe in arms. In fact, the brat is almost 4 years old. 4 years old!! Call me crazy (quite a few people have), but should a kid still be on the tit at 4? You'd think the kid would need to be weaned by then. But no. There he is, standing on a chair, happily tugging away at mom's fun bag.
   Both mom and "tot" are looking at the camera, and the expression on mom's face is almost one of "what the fuck are YOU looking at"? The caption under the photo is "Are You Mom Enough?" Mom in this case is 26 year old Jamie Grumet, son Aram is coming up 4 soon. Was it the pose that set people off with both standing and glaring into the camera? Or was it the fact the kid's 4 years old! He should not either need to be breastfed or be allowed to do so at that age. The only thing the kid should be sucking on is a sippy cup. One NOT attached to mom. It raises a couple of questions, the first being what psychological impact is this going to have on the little bugger? I mean, the physical attachment is bad enough, but what about the possibilty this, to many, abnormal behaviour is going to scar the kid in the future. And second, what's going to happen when he grows up? Is he going to be a breast man? Or is it something he'll finally be weaned off of? And shouldn't Jamie's titty taps have turned off by now? Shouldn't she be dry?
   And what about mom, anyway. Is she going to be doing this until the kid hits 25? IT'S TIME TO CUT THE FUCKING CORD DEAR.
   'Nuff said.

Don't Try This At Home

   Really. Seriously. Don't. Ever! I was surfing the 'net today and came across a video on Yahoo called "Babies thrown off roof in bizarre tradition". I had to watch. Once I got over my "what-the-fuck-was-that" moment, I watched it again. And again. And just to make sure what I thought I saw was what I actually saw, I watched AGAIN. And I saw babies being tossed off a roof into a blanket being held by several men below.
   Not being able to leave well enough alone, I Googled it and got an even clearer video of this "tradition". And sure enough, Hindu priests were throwing babies off the roof. Of a temple. It had to be fucking near 20 feet high! So, I started wondering what happens if one of the kids doesn't land on his back? At the very least, we're talking some kind of whiplash. Possibly a permanent brain injury. Maybe even death
   The next logical question is why? Why allow your little bundle of joy to be pitched off the top of a temple? The answer: It will make them grow stronger. I guess that might be true. Isn't there an old saying that anything that doesn't kill can only make you stronger?
   Can you imagine what would happen if people tried this "tradition" in North America? I can almost see it unfold between a man and his wife.
   She: Honey, why are you taking the kids to the attic? And where the hell is my best tablecloth? He: Well dear, I'm just trying to make our kids stronger. She (now getting concerned): And just how do you plan on doing that? He: I'm going to toss them off the roof. But don't worry honey. Frank, Bill Jerry and Stan will catch them in the tablecloth. It'll be fine. She (now in a full frontal maternal instinct fit of rage):..........
   ..........Flashes forward several months and is heard telling the jury at her trial "And that's when I decided to kill him". Judge: Case dismissed.
   'Nuff said.

PWND!!!!!

   It seems I was royally pawned, or owned if you prefer. Back on May 1st, I blogged about a jilted female dentist in Poland who, in an act of extreme revenge, took all the teeth from the mouth of a sedated boyfriend who threw her over for another woman. The supreme idiot supposedly went back to his dentist ex for dental surgery.
   The story is FALSE. In fact, Polish police say they are not investigating any such case, and the country's dental association isn't investigating one either. And the association also goes on to say the woman in question, Anna Machowiak, isn't even on their register!
   Even more! Polish media deny reporting any such story, except the foreign coverage of what they say was a prank. A British newspaper supposedly had the story, but even the writer claims to not know where it originated.
   So I, like so many others, was sucked in by this tale of dental horror.
   Lesson learned: Don't believe everything you see on the Internet. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see about that sighting of Elvis riding the Loch Ness monster through the Panama canal.
   'Nuff said.

Soylent Green. Now Available In Easy To Swallow Capsules!

 In South Korea, officials intercepted a shipment of capsules with a powder in them, which some people believe can cure disease. The capsules came from northeastern China. And contained, hold on to your stomach contents, powdered human remains. But not just any human remains. These were the chopped up bodies of babies, which were dried on a stove and ground into powder.
   Have you vomited yet? No? Well, here's another chance, so get your barf bucket on standby. Chinese officials are investigating the production of these "drugs" to see if they were made from dead fetuses or newborns last year.
   Apparently, there were several smuggling attempts made over the past year, with more than 17 thousand capsules involved. These are disguised as stamina boosters, and are taken by those who think it's a cure-all for disease. And while these shipments were confiscated, the question is how many got through?
   And who knows how sick people who took them can or have gotten, since they carry bacteria and other harmful ingredients. Apparently, none of the people who bought them knew what was in them, and so far, there have been no reports of illness.
   The sickest part of the whole thing is the simple act of turning dead humans into capsules someone else may well take.
   And now, I think I will have to go 'purge' myself.
   'Nuff said.

Oh, The Humanity!

   All the talk so far this year has been about the Titanic disaster in 1912..100 years ago. But 25 years after the Titanic sank, there was another disaster involving a very large passenger vessel. This one didn't sail the seas, and tragedy didn't befall on her maiden voyage. But it did signal the end of an era. That era was passenger airships. It was 75 years ago today, May 6, 1937, the Hindenburg exploded while landing at Lakehurst Naval Air Station in New Jersey.
   She was truly a giant at 803 feet long (Titanic was 882 feet), 135 feet in diameter, and had a volume for lighter that air gas of more than 7 million cubic feet. She could carry up to 72 passengers and 61 crew, and had a maximum speed of 85 mph. She was also filled with hydrogen gas. Which is highly flammable. Her outer skin, according to some theorists, was painted with aluminum powder and/or iron oxide. Both are fuels used on the Space Shuttle`s external boosters. But the jury's still out on that.
   She was also the pride of Nazi Germany, and flew over the Berlin Olympics in 1936.
   On her final voyage, Hindenburg was carrying 36 passengers and 61 crew. She had just pulled up to the mooring mast when either lightning, a static discharge or (as some have said) a bomb detonated the hydrogen gas, burning her in just 37 seconds and killing a total of 35 people.
   Journalist Herb Morrison of WLS Chicago saw the disaster unfold, and he did in fact say "Oh, the humanity".
   There are several famous photo's of the disaster, including one used by Led Zeppelin on the cover their first album.
   And while not as famous as the Titanic disaster, the Hindenburg tragedy should also be remembered.
   'Nuff said.

She's Gonna Do It!

   She is indeed. Broke, staring a foreclosure on her house in the face and with child welfare services keeping an eye on her 14 kids, Nadya "Octomom" Suleman is going to make a porn. Celebrity website TMZ reports she will be, pardon the poor alliteration, doing a solo. No penis pole riding, no skin flute playing, no game of hide the trouser snake. Just her. Alone (well, with the 'film' crew there) with her octopussy. An organ solo, if you will.
   There was no word if there would be any "props", so we'll have to wait and see if she takes plastic or not. TMZ also reports she'll be paid quite a bit more than the 10 grand she got for going topless in a British magazine. But not how much more. They also say she doesn't consider it porn, because it's just her doing, well, herself.
   As for the money she get's paid for this.....Well, lets just say that however much it is, the company in question would have to pay me hell of a lot more to watch.
   'Nuff said.

Happy Anniversary!

   It's a little hard to believe that it's been a year since SEAL Team 6 took out this trash. But it is. It was May 2, 2011 the Navy SEALS stormed Osama's hiding mansion in Pakistan and killed the fucker. Ironically, or maybe purposefully, the U.S released a story saying a "depressed" bin Laden thought about changing the name of his terror organization from Al-Qaida. But to what, no one is saying. The report goes on to say Osama worried about recruiting terrorist talent as U.S. strikes killed some of his veterans. I guess the talent pool for terrorists was getting shallow.
   Not only was he supposedly looking for a name change for his gang of thugs, but for himself as well. It's also said he agreed that a large portion of Muslims around the world had lost their trust in his 'organization'. Not surprising when you consider these assholes were killing Muslims along with their so-called "enemy".
   I guess there will still be a few nut cases out there who will miss Osama. Fortunately, members of SEAL Team 6 did not. Bang-Bang, they shot him down.
   So, Happy Anniversary Osama bin-Laden! I hope you enjoy being fish shit at the bottom of the sea. If that's where your stinking corpse was dumped. I still wonder if the U.S didn't bring the dead bastard home with them, instead of burying him at sea. Pickled in alcohol.
   'Nuff said.

That Hurts. It's Funny, But It Hurts

   If you're going to dump your girlfriend, don't go back to her for dental work. That should be a no-brainer, but for a guy in Poland, it came back to bite him. Not that he's going to be biting anything back for a while.
   It seems our hero did in fact dump his girlfriend for another woman. The woman he threw over just happens to be a dentist. Marek Olszewski woke in the chair after getting dental surgery, and noticed something was wrong. Very wrong. That's when he noticed his jaw was bandaged. Oh, yeah. All his teeth had been removed by the jilted woman!
   According to the story I saw, the woman in question, Anna Machowiak, at first had no thoughts of revenge. But the green eyed monster got the better of her when she saw the guy out cold. She's now being investigated for malpractice, among other things. He's investigating denture clinics for a new set of choppers.
   And as bad as it is, Marek is probably thanking his lucky stars his ex isn't a urologist!
   'Nuff said.