Putting The "Wild" In Wildlife

 

   And we start with the story of an elk who was causing problems for a rancher in British Columbia. A bull elk to be exact. With a nice 6-point sent of antlers. Which were removed. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
   Our story is really about forbidden love. Seems Mr. Elk wasn't simply ravaging rancher Jone's supply of feedstock. It seems the large Lothario was ravaging his cows! The farmer says more than once the bull elk was engaged in the act of love with more than one of his cows. He says it literally was elk-porn!
   The elk was tranquillized and de-horned, so to speak, before being moved out of the area. Why take his antlers? Well, it's mating season for them (as you've probably already worked out for yourself) and since the fellow did have a nice rack. officials cut off the antlers to make him less appealing to hunters.
   And to keep the rancher's cows safe if he ever makes it back.
   And just in case you were wondering, no. The 2 species could not produce offspring. Elk have 8 more chromosomes than cattle

   Our second story is one that almost defies logic. A woman in  North Dakota wants legislators to move a Deer Crossing sign from a busy stretch of interstate. Was it blocking the view of traffic? No. Was it in an area where there are no deer? No.
   No, the woman says the sign should be moved to get the deer to cross at another location! She wonders why they're encouraged to cross a busy highway where they could be in an accident with a vehicle. By her logic, the government put the deer crossings there, so they can direct the deer populations anywhere they want to by moving that deer crossing sign to a lower traffic area.
   Oh my fucking god! Just when you think people can't get any stupider.....this. Lets just hope this woman didn't breed.
   And maybe she should get a better tin-foil hat. Or stop power slamming Armageddon beers! (see below).
   'Nuff said.