PETA Is At It Again

   And in a very non-original move, they are once again running billboards condemning the consumption of turkeys for the upcoming Canadian Thanksgiving.
   It's the same ad these nut bars ran last year saying "Kids, if you wouldn't eat your dog, why eat turkey?" with a picture of a half dog-half turkey.
   The Perennial Eco Terrorist Assholes say they want kids to start questioning why it's o-kay to eat one animal, and not another. These no class idiots are putting the billboards up near schools in an obvious surrender move. Their message sure as hell hasn't worked on adults, so they're now targeting children.
   I wonder when they will get the hint that their tactics are not having the desired effect, and are in fact turning "soft" supporters of their cause against them with moves like this. Probably not.
   And while I'm on the subject of PETA ads, when are they going to drop Pam Anderson? She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet. Which she probably has been many, many times.
 And since PETA to me means People Eating Tasty Animals, I'll have a big slice of nicely roasted turkey Thanksgiving day. With dressing stuffed inside the bird. And in a half ass attempt to go Vegan, I might even have mashed potatoes and carrots.
   Fuck that. just pass the meat!
   'Nuff said.

Mmmm.....Fish Finger

   But this isn't your ordinary finger made out of fish. No. This was a finger found INSIDE a fish! It seems an unlucky wakeboarder lost the fingers on his left hand whilst pursuing his favorite sport. He was holding a slack line that, when the slack was taken out suddenly, pretty much ripped most of the digits off, sending them to the bottom of an Idaho lake.
   And that's where the story takes a strange, and yucky, twist. That's because a guy out fishing 8 miles and an unsaid period of time later, pulled up a nice trout, and while he was gutting it found.....well, you can put 2 and 2 together for the result. Anyway, our intrepid angler put said finger on ice and called the cops. When they took a fingerprint, they matched it to the owner who, for some strange reason, declined the offer of getting the finger back.
   Cops say they'll keep it for a few weeks if he changes his mind.
   But I bet the wakeboarder and angler never EVER look at fish fingers the same way again!
   'Nuff said.

I Now Pronounce You........

   Husband and DAUGHTER?!?!?
   It's true! And it didn't happen in in of those Southern states where such marriages not only don't raise eyebrows, but are even allowed. The same states where "Squeal Like a Pig" is the motto, and wedding parties feature a full set of teeth. Shared among 16 or so participants. (Just kidding, now put the shotgun down.)
   This tale of love gone awry was in Ohio, and the bride only found out after hubby/daddy died in 1998. For some reason, she kept the secret, well, secret, at least until last month. And it seems other family members knew the secret long before, but didn't bother to tell anyone. The woman in question had 3 kids from a previous marriage. She did not have any kids in the 2nd marriage.
   How did this all come about? That's quite convoluted, but apparently, the brides mother met her father/husband when she was 15, and apparently a lady of the evening. According to my math, her dad/hubby would also have been about 15 at the time as well. The bride (who has several siblings from her mothers relationship) was turned over to her grandparents while an infant. She apparently met hubby #2 quite a while after marriage #1 ended. Confused yet? I am.
   The whole story brings up a lot of nasty things I could say. Which, for once, I won't.
   'Nuff said.

The Senators Wife..Update!!

Yup! 23 year old Maygan Sensenberger has had her court case resolved. She's the woman who caused a ruckus on an Air Canada flight from Ottawa to Saskatoon last month, where she allegedly threatened to slit her 69 year old husband, senator Rod Zimmer's throat.
   This past week, she pleaded guilty to causing a disturbance, and had the charge of uttering a threat dropped. She also had a charge of endangering the safety of an aircraft withdrawn earlier. With the guilty plea, May got a one year suspended sentence, and must report to a parole officer in Ottawa, where the couple (who recently celebrated their 1st anniversary) now live.
   That officer might require her to attend counselling on a variety of issues, and May has already agreed to addiction treatment after admitting booze may have been a factor in the whole encounter.
   So congratulations May! It seems you got off easily, which is more than you can probably say about getting your husband off!
   'Nuff said.

I Love The Internet!

   Friends sent me these that they in turn had passed to them either via e-mail or Facebook:



   And then, there was this gem!


Students at a local school were assigned to read two books,
'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they
were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

...

Titanic: cost - $29.99
Clinton : cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either..

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

 

   Like I said, you gotta love the internet!

   'Nuff said,

Yes, I'm Back On That Kick

   I am in fact revisiting religion, a favorite topic of mine. And today, there are 2 items I've been hearing and reading about. One is an article that says science is close to ruling out god. Huh! I thought it already had.
   Anyway, this goes on to say that with every development in science, (a rational) man's reliance on god is being chipped away. It goes on to say that science will ultimately arrive at a complete understanding of the universe, leaving no room for "god". Oh happy day! Oh glorious day! What a shame I won't be around to see it. And even when it does happen, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be those religitards with their heads stuck firmly in the sand, probably saying something like "god" masked his true intent, so scientists would be blinded to it. Or something equally as idiotic.
   Moving on from "god" to his "son", it seems there's a scrap of papyrus unearthed recently suggesting Jesus was married. Of course, the nut-bars say he was only married to his 'church' and 'ministry'. Hell, the catholic church so firmly believes he was NOT married, they forbid clergy to get hitched. And we all know how wonderful THAT'S turned out for altar boys etc, not to mention pope Benny who now has to deal with the mess.
   And what's the big deal anyway? So what if he got married? Shit, there's 18 years he was unaccounted for. 'Course, religious people will say he was working on his ministry, and communing with "god", etc.
   What they don't say is it's very likely he hitched his star onto a caravan and buggered off. Possibly to India. I did a quick search, and a real hard-core walker can go around the world in 4 years. So, what's to say he didn't make it to India? Certainly what's now the Arab world. Maybe even Europe? And at the risk of sounding totally sacrilegious, what's to say he didn't have a few kids along the way? The Big Book of Thou Shalt Not (bible)? Considering there's no trace of him from 12 to about 30, I won't put my faith in that book.
   And hey, if I'm totally wrong, at least hell is warm! Too bad I don't believe in Hell, either.
   'Nuff said.
  

One Year Later And Still No One Cares

Yeah, they're back. The rabble has returned. And the NYPD were there to meet them. And arrest about 100. The self-proclaimed 99% have started the bullshit all over again. A year after they first started, the Occupy Wall Street gang was back in Times Square, they say to rejuvenate the campaign and try to bring down Corporate America, and take down the 1%. Hell, last time I checked, the "protesters" were far below 1%, and the rest of us who simply want to pay our bills were the 99%.
   And as I said back a year or so ago, I'm not happy with the fact that my tax dollars are going to these bums welfare. Or paying for their public defender.
   In fact, I can't see this "groundswell of anti-capitalism" continuing much this fall. Enough people have wised up to the "protesters" and their schemes. In fact, they were booted out of public parks, although I sometimes wonder if the cops were being a bit easy on them.
   And lets face it. Anyone who can afford a Star-Yucks double Latte is 1: Not broke, and 2: A hypocrite for supporting a corporate giant. Same for all those assholes with their i-phones, blackberry's and androids who were texting and face-booking about it while living in 3 to 4 hundred dollars tents.
   Oh, yeah. Lets not forget the disruption to a lot of LOCAL businesses these smelly, spoiled brats caused. Not to mention lost profits for the remaining "Mom and Pop" stores who's profit margin is so small as to barely register. Those are the people you hurt, you narrow minded idiots, NOT the big giants.
   So, I hope this fizzles out quicker than last years "Occupy" bullshit.
   And one final thing. Please feel free to wear one of those stupid "Vendetta" masks when and if you commit a crime. The penalty is a lot harsher when you're "wearing a disguise during the commission of a crime".
   Other than that, pull your fingers out, get a job and make a real contribution.
   'Nuff said.

Bring On The Hate

   Why am I ASKING to "Bring On The Hate"? Simple. The NHL has been locked out, and I could not be happier. Why? Because in my mind, the game has changed. And not for the better. There are far too many teams, the season drags on to long, and the playoffs last forever. Not that I'm calling for a return to the "Original 6" of Toronto, Montreal, Chicago, Detroit, Boston and New York. Nor am I suggesting the league cut back to 12. But there are simply way to many teams now (30), and it seems they only have to play .500 hockey to make the playoffs.
   There are a few teams struggling financially who should be shut down. Maybe the league should look at cutting 6 and have a 24 team league. Shorten the season down to say 72 games. And make the playoffs a goal for teams, rather than the expectation that even if you don't play at 100%, you can still make the post season.
   As for the post season, the top 2 teams in each division square off.  The conference winners square off, and the winners of that play in the final. You could put 6 teams in each division, and make the preliminary a best of 3, the conference best of 5 and the final best of 7
   And it's also become to much of a big business, where some players charge for their autograph. And now, both sides are pissing and moaning about revenue sharing. If the 2 sides were serious about doing a deal, why not split it 50/50? Wouldn't that be "fair"?
   And the players themselves. Yes, they've gotten bigger. And yes, they do have an intensive training regimen. And yes, they have modern equipment and (mostly) new arenas that can have different parts of the ice climate controlled separately from others.
   But I got to thinking. Wouldn't it be interesting to take a top team from the 1960's, say Detroit, and have them play a team from 2012, say Edmonton. They would use leather skates with steel blades (no carbon fibre). Wood sticks (again, no carbon fibre), wool uniforms (no gortex or whatever they use these days) and play in a 1960's arena (no climate control or ice micro-management) with the old boards. Who would win? I think I'd put money on Detroit
   So much for the rant. And really, you honestly didn't think I was happy with the lockout did you? I hope both sides get back to the table, so we can get on with the game.
   'Nuff said.

More Royal Nudity

   I know, I know. I don't normally put up 2 posts in one day. But after my last one, you might wanna consider this a "bonus track" of sorts.
   And yes, it does deal with a member of the Royal Family photographed in a state of undress. This time, it's NOT Harry. No. This time it's William's wife Kate!!!
   Seems some scum sucking French paparazzi got a shot or 2 of her sunbathing.....topless! It happened when the Royals were on a vacay in France, and the pics (blurry to be sure 'cause of the long telephoto lens the scum was using) made it to a French magazine.
   Buck house is decidedly NOT amused, and Will and Kate have launched a lawsuit against said French magazine for the paparazzi sniper shot. Lets not forget, these type of "people" are the ones blamed in part for the accident that killed Di back in '97 in that Paris tunnel. That, and the fact the driver was pissed.
   But I digress. In this case, I hope Will and Kate win, because it was an invasion of their privacy.
   And to Kate: You should have been briefed that the paparazzi never EVER leave you alone. Not even when you think you are free of the parasites. With apologies to any real parasites who may be viewing for denigrating them.
   So, a word to the wise Kate. If you don't want your tits splashed all over some magazine, keep your top on next time you're out sunbathing. It'll save you and everyone else a lot of trouble.
   'Nuff said.

Waiting For November 19, 2012

   Because that's when the Gods of Rock release their first concert album and DVD in some 27 years. It's the one-off Led Zeppelin concert held 5 years ago as a tribute to Atlantic Records guru Ahmet Ertegun at London's O2. 2 million people applied on line for one of 18 thousand tickets for the show where Zep were the headliners.
   Jimmy Page, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones were joined on stage by Jason Bonham, the son of their late drummer John "Bonzo" Bonham, who died in 1980 after having way too much to drink and falling asleep the wrong way up.
   I've seen the You Tube trailer for the movie, which comes out next month, and if that's any indication of what "Celebration Day" was like......HOLY FUCK!!!
   Sure, the original 3 aren't as young as they were. Sure, Page's fingers aren't quite as lightning fast as they were. Sure, Plant can't hit the high notes the way he did. But WHO CARES. It's Led Zeppelin for cripes sake!
   Will I be buying the blue-ray? YES! Will I be buying the CD? YES!
   Now the only problem will be convincing the wife that we NEED a 70 inch LCD Hi-Def T.V. Oh, yeah. And a new top of the line surround sound system. That might create a bit of a problem.
   ZEPPELIN RULES!!!!!!!!!
   'Nuff said.

9/11

   I wasn't going to talk about the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I was going to leave it to others who are far better qualified than I am. But the magnitude of what happened September 11, 2001 is just too great, and it had an impact that continues to be felt to this day. Ironically, it was a Tuesday. I was just getting ready for work, and was watching CNN after the first plane hit. I didn't know what was going on, and thought it might've been an accident. That a plane somehow veered off course and slammed into the building.
   Imagine my horror when the second plane hit the North tower, tearing a flaming path of destruction through it. I was gob-smacked. Things got worse when I finally found out the Pentagon had been hit, and realized (if I hadn't already) that it was a co-ordinated attack on our neighbor to the south. Things then got even worse when word came out that a 4th plane had been hijacked and was heading toward Washington, D.C. They made it as far as Pennsylvania before the passengers, who were well aware of what was happening, tried to wrest control away from the terrorists, managing to crash the jet into a field, thereby sparing many more lives.
   By the time the towers had fallen, I was late for work and hustled to make it in to the office, only to find that, like me, everyone was transfixed at what was happening.
   We all know what happened in the aftermath. Airport security was beefed up. Armed guards were put on airliners in the States. The Taliban was kicked out (for now) in Afghanistan. And finally, Osama bin Laden was killed by SEAL team 6 last May.
   What were my feelings on that day? Anger. I thought the U.S had the right, if not the moral obligation, to turn Afghanistan into one big sheet of thermonuclear created glass after it was revealed Al-Qaida was using the country as a base of operation with the Taliban's blessing. When we found out it was militant Islamists, I was angry at all Muslims. Until close friends who follow Islam quickly pointed out that's not what their religion teaches them, and that the terrorists in their eyes were no more Muslim than I am.
   Where are we today? Still on a heightened security alert, which isn't a bad thing. And one thing I did notice during today's ceremonies was the lack of politicians in New York. It was family and friends of the victims who read the names.
   And on this 11th anniversary, lets not forget those who were killed in the attacks on New York, Washington and in a field in Pennsylvania. And lets also not forget the first responders who's training I'm sure could not have prepared them for the scope of the disaster. That includes the 384 NYFD members who died.
   So, to the families and friends of the victims, and those who survived a day of hell, I hope you find peace, if not some closure, before you pass away.
   And from one who served to all those in uniform that fateful day, I stand and salute you!
   'Nuff said.

Trains 7, People 3

   We do indeed have an updated score, and apparently it happened last Friday, August 31. For some strange reason, I didn't hear about it until today.
   It happened in Saskatchewan (again), but this time near Saskatoon. Some small town called Grandora. I think. Anyway, it seems a 30 year old was lying on the tracks, and a freight ran over him. The engineer tried to stop, but couldn't.
   And unlike the guy in Thunder Bay, Ontario that survived being run over by lying still, this guy wasn't so fortunate.
   And moving off topic, there sure are a lot of weird town names in that province (although I'm sure there are in others too).
   For example, there's a place called "Elbow". There's even a place called Biggar. Their town slogan is "New York Is Big. This Is Biggar". And my favorite of all is (and I'm NOT making this up) Climax. I don't know what their slogan is, but I hope it's not "Come To Climax"!
   'Nuff said.

Random Thursday Ratbag Ramblings

   There really hasn't been a lot happening lately, hence my lack of posts. So today, I'm going to smush a bunch of stuff together and see what I come up with.
   Sung Myung Moon. He was the South Korean leader of the Unification Church, otherwise known as the Moonies. Or cult, if you prefer. He kicked the bucket this past week at age 92. His "followers" (or brainwashed zombies if you prefer) are wrapping up 13 days of mourning.
   Speaking of cults, Tom Cruise is denying the Scientologists tried to hook him up with another woman after Katie Holmes left him. I wouldn't put it past them. And this church (cult) also apparently tried to turn the kids he had with Nicole Kidman against her. Not getting enough "donations"?
   On a non-religious note, seems a 46 year old guy in Alberta got into a deliberate accident recently, driving his Hummer directly into the path of another vehicle. Was it an insurance scam? No. Was it an attempt to bump someone off and have it look like an accident? No. Seems our guy did it to head off another vehicle that was making a bee-line for some kids crossing the street. It happened in Taber (which has FANTASTIC corn) as the guy was leaving a shopping centre and saw a (much) smaller car not slowing down for the kids. So, he says instinct took over, and he drove smack into the side of the car, pushing it out of the way. The 23 year old driver of that car was apparently yakking away on his cell phone at the time. A Hummer against a Pontiac? No wonder the Hummer won!
   Hopefully I'lll have something a little more substantive next time. But until then.....
   'Nuff said.