Who Says Big Corporations Are Heartless

   Not the folks in a small town in Alaska who live 400 miles from the nearest fast food location. A story I saw says someone started a prank in this small town, saying Taco Bell was opening a location. Needless to say, that had most of Bethel's 6200 residents salivating. Until it was learned it was a prank, and people couldn't make "a run for the border" as the old ad's used to say.
   Ahh, but here's where corporate America's usually black heart starts to beat. Seems officials at the fast food company somehow found out about this, and will provide enough fixin's for 10 thousand taco's. And they'll fly it in to Bethel. And cook 'em up and serve 'em.
   The best part is.....they're doing it FREE. Yup! Gratis!
   So, congratulations Taco Bell! And eat hearty Bethel!
   'Nuff said.

This Guy's Nuts!!

   No, not those kind of nuts. The one's I'm talking about I couldn't show a picture of on this blog. Yes. THOSE nuts, the ones we men stash in our jeans. Unless you're 22 year old Mao Sugiyama of Japan. He claims to be either asexual or ex-sexual (most likely the latter), and had his..uhh.."junk" surgically removed. But it get's better. Or worse, depending on your point of view. He had his "stash" frozen (the last time his dick was hard), took them home, and in a move Hannibal Lecter would be proud of, had them seasoned, cooked them himself, penis, scrotum and all, and served to 5 of his friends. Glad I don't know the fucker!
   Presentation is everything, so he served his 'thing' with mushrooms and parsley as a garnish, of course. At $250 bucks a plate!
   Now, to be fair to Mao, he did get checked for VD, and came out with a clean bill of health. Oh, yeah. He also had his nipples surgically removed. I just hope he didn't serve those as an appetizer.
   I just wonder what kind of wine you'd have with a meal like that. I mean, is it red wine with severed genitalia or white? I think I'll just order a pizza and have a beer.
   'Nuff said.

It's A Shoe, Take Two!..New!!

   It was back in February I blogged about a near riot over a shoe. A very expensive Nike shoe that came out for the NBA All-Star game. Those suckers glowed in the dark, and went for 220 bucks a pair. That's nothing compared to this.
   Adidas has come out with the (and I am NOT making this up) Shackle Sneaker. These are causing quite a stir, because they have plastic fucking shackles with chains linked to the shoe. A lot of folks are upset because they say it evokes memories of slavery and/or prison chain gangs, which the company making them denies. The best part is these shoes won't be out until August, and this was a release on Facebook.
   The caption underneath these monstrosities reads “Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?” Now, I can understand why people would be a little upset to say the least about these things. But why would they think anyone would actually buy  pair? The "shackle" and chain are day-glow fucking orange plastic. And I'm pretty sure you won't be able to "Ninja" anyone with the noise those chains make. Let alone be comfortable wearing a chain on your leg.
   As for evoking slavery or prison chain gangs, I don't know. But I do know anyone who would fork over whatever they're going to charge for it will look like a complete, total, fucking douche! The shoes are UGLY.
   'Nuff said.
   *****NEW: So, it figures. Adidas has apparently cancelled the Shackle Sneaker. Probably for the best anyway.*****

Train vs People..Another Update

   So, by my scorecard, it's now Trains 4, People 2 after this latest incident. This time in Edmonton, Alberta where a guy crossing the tracks got hit. And unlike our other 3 victims, this guy was apparently NOT listening to music on his ear buds, and was NOT texting at the time (see my blog of April 1) when he was killed.
   No. Our victim was trying to get around the arm that automatically comes down at controlled crossings. Oh, yeah. He was pushing a shopping cart that got stuck in the rails somehow and was trying to free it when he got hit. And unlike our other stories where inattention was part of the cause, this is kinda tragic in that he'd been collecting bottles in the area of the accident almost every day. Cops haven't said if he was homeless, but the picture I saw shows what may have been his belongings stuffed into a garbage bag. Of course, it could've been bottles for that matter.
   And unlike the other cases, I kinda fell a little sorry for this guy.
   'Nuff said.

Now Thats What I Call Art

   It seems just about every country's got a "Talent" show these days. You know what I mean, "America's Got Talent", "Britain's Got Talent". Those shows. One's I never watch. EVER! But I wish we got "Thailand's Got Talent" after this. A young female contestant stirred up controversy, and even has the country's culture minister in a tizzy, calling her performance "shocking".
   What did she do? Pull her county's flag through her legs? No. Diss the government in a comedy stand-up? No. Sing a raunchy song? No.
   So, what DID she do to cause such an uproar? Well, she painted a picture. That's all, just painted a picture. O-kay, she stripped off her top, doused herself in multi-colored paint and used her tits as brushes while she pressed herself against the canvas and "danced". After politely addressing the judges and turning her back to them. Of course (damn it). That's one moment I'd be using TiVo for. Several times.
   It almost makes me want to take up painting. I wonder if she could show me her "pointers". Oh, yeah. She was voted into the next round of the competition 2-1. The lone dissenting vote was, naturally, from the woman judge.
   You gotta love art!
   'Nuff said.

Mmm....Bacon Sundae. Maybe Not

   It's true! Burger King will be rolling out a new menu featuring a bacon sundae. It's soft serve ice cream with fudge, bacon bits, caramel and a piece of bacon. It's 510 calories, 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar. Yeah.
   This new time-limited menu will also feature new pork, beef and chicken sandwiches in an effort to draw customers back. But it's not all quite like that. They do have so-called "healthy" choices like wraps and salads. But seriously. A bacon fucking sundae? I like bacon just fine, and I like sundae's as well. But the 2 together? No thanks.
   So, if/when the new menu hits in Ontario, you'll be able to drive through your local BK, grab a wrap or salad and a bacon sundae, head home and start wolfing it down. But the best part is that in that province you'll be able wash it all down with a new Voodoo Donut Maple Bacon Ale. (See my blog from May 31 on that topic.) And just like the beer, I'll pass on the sundae. Thanks.
   Now someone's just got to start a new business for imbibers of both. Something like Body Bags Are Us.
   'Nuff said.

A Vatican Crackdown

   And about time too. It seems Benny and his crew have had enough, and have cracked the whip, telling one group to get back to promoting age-old church teachings. Was it pedophile priests? No. Was it bishops who hide pedophile priests? No. Was it bishops who have secret families? No. O-kay. Was it high placed vatican officials (maybe even cardinals....not the bird) who are leaking secrets about the doings in the holy see? No!!
   Who the hell is it then? Showing their traditional misogynistic disdain, vatican officials have rapped the knuckles of a group of American nuns for "straying away from church doctrine and promoting certain 'radical feminist' themes". Things like talking about homosexuality for example. Another issue is what role, if any, nuns should play within the greater dialogue of the catholic faith, even to what direction the church itself should be headed. They're going to get cold comfort from old Benny, who was called the doctrinal Rottweiler of the church.
   The vatican also imposed reform of the organization, and even put an arch-bishop in charge. I guess nuns can't talk about things like homosexuality or church reform. But, hey. That's typical. The group of nuns must now cave in to the old women in Rome, or break from the church altogether. One spokesman went as far as stating the vatican doesn’t have a history of saying, ‘You know what? You’re right. We had it wrong.
   That would be a fucking miracle. Which, of course, never EVER happens.
   'Nuff said.

Grand Pricks At The Grand Prix

   So, the Montreal Grand Prix went ahead as planned Sunday, and surprisingly (or not) there was little in the way of demonstrations or protests from the rabble calling themselves university students who are pissed off at pending tuition fee increases (see my blog of May 19 "Get Back To Class..A Rant"). I'm kinda surprised they didn't show up, because they hinted they'd try and disrupt the weekend. And I'm  kinda not surprised that only 30 people were arrested at a subway stop near the venue, given the police presence on hand. Even still, there were groups of people demonstrating against the hike, and the law banning most forms of demonstrations, all weekend. Some in their undies, some in a lot less.
   That didn't deter thousands of people from attending (although organizers say there was a 5 to 6% drop off in ticket sales), and dumping as much as $100 million into the city's economy. I guess some of the protesters who didn't show up must be economics students with at least a enough smarts to realize what a hit to the city shutting down the event would have cost. Let alone the police bill.
   So now students, you've had your time in the international spotlight. You got to wave your placards in front of the international media. You got to chant your little chants. You got to show the world just how juvenile and puerile you really are. And as I said back in May, if you put even half the energy into your studies as you have these stupid, futile protests, you'd have a much easier time graduating and making a positive contribution to your city, province and the country.
   'Nuff said.
   And oh, yeah, Lewis Hamilton won the race. His 3rd Montreal GP.

A Fish For Asthma?

   You wouldn't normally think having a fish would be a cure for the breathing disorder, would you. But in one part of India, it's being highly touted as just such. Tens of thousands descended on a stadium, 70 thousand to be exact, for a 170 year old family cure said to have been given by a Hindu saint.
   And it's not a spectacular or unusual fish either. It's a sardine. Live, by the way. Slathered with a yellow herbal paste. In my country, we call that paste "mustard", and it's actually not bad on sardines. Anyway, the practice is banned for kids under 14, and is, for some reason, frowned upon by the medical community.
   Some of those waiting for the "cure" needed to be treated for.....get ready for it.....breathing problems after waiting for hours in line and one guy had a fucking heart attack! And died!! To top it off, those who get this treatment must follow a strict diet for 45 days after. I wonder if it's fish?
   Now, I don't mind sardines (with mustard), but if I were an asthma sufferer I think I'd want more "conventional" treatment. And maybe save the sardines for bait next time I go off-shore fishing.
   'Nuff said.

Another Sad Loss

   Whether or not you like the genre, science fiction is a huge industry. And there are several names that come to mind if you're my age or older. Sadly, another of those has passed away. Ray Bradbury was 91 when he died Tuesday night, so he did have a very long life. For those of you who don't know who he was, Ray Bradbury wrote the classic "Fahrenheit 451" about a futuristic society where firemen START fires. Usually burning books. The title is also the temperature at which book paper catches fire.
   Bradbury also wrote The Martian Chronicles which, if memory serves, deals with the exodus from Earth to Mars, and the resulting conflict with native Martians. I must have read through 3 copies of that book when I was (much) younger. So now, the ABC of classic science fiction has gone. Isaac Asimov, who's work includes what I consider one of the best sci-f stories ever, Nightfall, along with setting out the Laws of Robotics died in 1992. Arthur C Clark, who was responsible for 2001 A Space Odyssey died in 2008.
   No, don't worry. I'm not forgetting Robert Heinlein, famous for Stranger in a Strange Land, who died in 1988 as one of the giants as well.
   Rest in Peace, Mr. Bradbury, and thank you for your writings.
   'Nuff said.

BUSTED!!.....UPDATE

   He has in fact been arrested. Luka Magnotta was busted in Berlin this morning. And when he's extradited (who knows how long THAT will take), he will face several charges. Not the least of which is 1st degree murder in the brutal stabbing death of 33 year old Jun Lin. He will also likely face charges of offering an indignity to a dead body for dismembering his victim, and harassing M.P`s for mailing the parts to political offices in Ottawa.
   If convicted, he faces life, with no parole for 25 years. Which I think is complete bullshit. The minimum this piece of shit should get is life with NO parole. Served in an open institution where other inmates can mete out some jailhouse justice of their own. But that likely won`t happen, since Luka will probably end up in protective custody. Which the taxpayers of this country will be paying for the next 25 years. Why? Simple, really. Canada does not have the death penalty, which is unfortunate in this case, because (if guilty) Luka deserves to die. It's pukes like him, mass killer Robert Pickton and teen age girl killer Paul Bernardo who should be put down.
   Maybe we could send Magnotta to China, since it was one of their nationals he (allegedly) killed! I think that's a good idea! China has the death penalty! But that's not likely to happen. So, here's another idea. A while back I blogged about a Tory M.P who suggested putting a rope in a convict's cell to let them make up their own mind. And if someone "helped" Luka, so much the better.
   'Nuff said.
**********UPDATE: Magnotta appeared in a Berlin court Tuesday, and said he would not fight extradition back to Canada. He's expected back in this country as early as next week**********

You Play With Snakes, You Get Bit

   Which is exactly what happened to a "preacher" in the States (West Virginia to be exact) who died after being bitten by a timber rattlesnake. How did this happen? Was the good reverend simply walking along and got bit? Was he trying to reach into the bushes for something and disturbed the snake? No. Mark Wolford was a "snake handler". He's one of those who tries to prove their faith by, well, handling poisonous snakes.
   It seems the serpent struck during a service at Panther State Forest, which is a state park. A relative and a photographer say they saw it happen, but the rest of his family, county officials, the coroner and funeral home are not commenting.
   If he was trying to prove his faith, what does that say about god? I mean, here's a guy who's pissing off a fucking rattlesnake. Where was god? Maybe he was busy. You know, saving someone more worthy. Maybe he got distracted. Something like " i've got to stop that snake from biting Mark before it's too.....aw, look. A cute little bunny". Maybe god was mad at Mark for pissing off one of his creations and let him get bitten as a lesson. Maybe he just didn't care. And maybe god didn't intervene because he doesn't exist.
   Whatever. Mark tested his faith and lost. Which just goes to show you can never trust a poisnous snake. Especially not the pointy bit at the front.
   'Nuff said.