Eff Off!

   That pretty much sums up what Canada's broadcast regulator, the Canadian Radio and Telecommunications Commission, had to say to Netflix and Google after both had the audacity to challenge the CRTC's "authority" when it comes top internet service. Submissions from both at recent hearings into the future of TV were deleted from the record. Why? Seems both told the CRTC to go fuck themselves after the body ordered them to turn over sensitive subscriber information. Good on Netflix and Google. As for the CRTC: Go fuck yourself!
   This "broadcast regulator" is archaic in their effort to promote home-grown 'entertainment'. And I use the term 'entertainment' lightly. Have you seen the shit Canadian companies produce? If not, count yourself lucky. With very, VERY few exceptions, most of the TV production in this country is a joke. Living here, I've been subjected to crap show after crap show. "The Beachcombers", "King of Kensington", "Little Mosque on the Prairies", and the excrementally un-funny "Corner Gas" are just a few examples.
   Given those shows, it's no wonder people are cutting the cable and going to Netflix and Google for their entertainment needs. And as far as news coverage, well, you can get what you want on-line.
   To me, it seems the only function the CRTC has is to prop up the CBC, Canada's 'national' network, and the main producer of the diarrhea they continue to flush into our living rooms. I think it's way past time for both agencies to fade to black.
   'Nuff said.

More Than One Application May Be Needed

   With terrorist attacks on the rise, specifically in the middle east, and more specifically Islamic terrorism, it might be time for an application of Preparation H-Bomb. One shot may be enough to rid the world of those pesky pains in the ass, but a second application may be needed.
   Of course, the big problem is that the hugely vast majority of followers of Islam want what we all do. Peace, shelter, food on the table. And yes, there are terrorists in other religions as well. It's just the Islamic ones getting the headlines.
   But with the terror threat mushrooming, a mushroom cloud over them may spell relief. Maybe (not even remotely possible admittedly) we could somehow get all these assholes into one place at the same time and drop the bomb. Some real shit-hole of a place. Prince Albert, Saskatchewan comes to mind.
   'Nuff said

What A Bunch Of Tits

   That's Jasmine Tridevil, or so she calls herself. And yes, she is sporting an extra boob, like the 3-titted hooker in Total Recall. The 21 year old had claimed she had the 3rd tit (complete with a nipple tattooed on) surgically added for 20 thousand dollars, to make herself less attractive, and avoid being asked for dates.
   The claim, just like the extra boob, was fake. And you can just tell by looking at it the appendage was not grafted on surgically. Not to mention, no plastic surgeon in his right mind would ever do that (or am I being naïve). In fact, the exact opposite might have happened, with guys lining up to have a look (not to mention the hope of coping a feel) of all 3 boobs.
   And speaking of useless phony tits, Kween Kardashian is kalling her marriage kwits with Bruce Jenner. Yep! After 22 years, both Kris Kartrashian and Jenner filed nearly identical divorce papers within 24 hours of each other.
  Whaddya wanna bet this whole kluster fuck will end un on their shitty "reality" TV show.
   'Nuff said.

We Now Know The Answer To One Burning Question

   And that question is: "Are you really that fucking stupid?" It stems from something sweeping social media about putting your iPhone 6 in a microwave to charge it. Yup! It's said doing so will activate an alleged "wave" feature of the iOS 8 operating system. It says that users can charge their devices by simply placing them in household microwaves for 60 seconds at 700w or 70 seconds at 800w, and thus do away with a standard charging adapter.
   Holy shit! If you're really that dumb, go ahead and do it. Put your brand new iPhone 6 or 6 plus in the microwave and nuke it. It seems a few people have been duped into doing it. What I'd like to know is who put this out? Apple, in order to sell more units?, or their main cellphone rival Samsung?
   And seriously, if people really are that fucking stupid, let's hope the never breed.
   'Nuff said.

Whoop-De-Fucking-Do

   So, the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus came out today. As the title of this post might suggest, I could give a rats ass. The screen is bigger, and that's about the most noticeable change. The larger screen also brings them in line with main rival Samsung in the battle of the bigger screen. There's also a new feature, Apple Pay, which allows owners of the devices to pay at the register by tapping the phone.
   I freely admit that I'm not the most technology savvy person out there, but given what's happened with the iCloud recently, I'm sure it won't be long before someone hacks these devices.
   I will not be getting one of these. In fact, there are no Apple products in my home. Not a pad, or a pod, let alone a phone. I hate all the hoopla surrounding these "events", and I do not like Apple to begin with. I'm sticking with my Android for now, and likely will in the future. As for shit like Apple Pay, no way. I'll still pay my bills at the bank, thank you, not on line.
   I gotta admit, I had to laugh when the very first person in the world to get one dropped the fucking thing as he was opening the box. The screen apparently didn't break. Lucky for him.
   'Nuff said.

I Wouldn't Have Known Otherwise

   It's a god-damn shame sarcasm does not translate from my keyboard to your computer screen. If it did, this post would be dripping with it. I turned in to what they call "Canada's Weather Network" (IE: The Weather Network) to get my latest forecast. I just missed it, but knew it'd come on in another 10 minutes. While I was waiting, I happened to see them screen something billed as "The Top 5 Signs of Fall".
   Having been through more than 230 changes of season in my life, I was interested to see what these were. And I was aghast at what they told me. Their number 5 sign of fall is frost. According to the report (and I am NOT making this up), frost generally happens overnight when temperatures get down to the freezing mark. Number 4: Geese flying south. The reporter said you get used to seeing them all summer, then suddenly, their they are, heading south. 3: Shorter days. That's when the sun starts setting earlier and earlier, and eventually we're eating dinner in the dark. 2: Hurricane season picks up, with September the prime month for tropical storms. And number 1 sign fall is near: The leaves change color.
   Now, more sarcasm, so bear with me. I don't know why they did this, or who it was aimed at, since all 5 "signs" are self explanatory to almost anyone living in the Northern Hemisphere IE: Immigrants to our country). I guess it's to help anyone who just moved from the equator. Or maybe the planet Lagash from Isaac Asimov's classic sci-fi novella "Nightfall", or some other planet where seasonal changes are extremely rare, or non-existent.
   Probably, they needed to fill a minute, and had nothing remotely more interesting to talk about.
  'Nuff said.

Time For A Re-Think

   That's Cody Legebokoff. He was found guilty of first degree murder in the killings of 3 women and a 15 year old girl in British Columbia. Under Canadian law, the maximum he can get is life with no parole for 25 years. Unless he's declared a dangerous offender, under which he can be held indefinitely. He's now 24, which means he could be released when he's 49. Which is a travesty. I think he should be the poster boy for a return of the death penalty in Canada, something I've said in past posts I favor.
   And he's not the only one either. In Alberta, a woman with the apt last name of Coward, allegedly killed her 9 year old daughter after a bitter custody battle over Amber Lucius. She's charged with first degree murder.
   Then, there's Luka Magnotta:

   He's charged with first degree murder in the killing of a Chinese student. He also allegedly mailed his body parts to Ottawa and B.C. I know, innocent until proven guilty is the rule of law. As it should be. But if and when found guilty, life in prison (with taxpayers footing bills that can reach 90 thousand dollars a year or more) isn't enough in these cases.
   Face it. There's no hope of rehabilitation. There's no way they can ever re-integrate into society. All they are is burdens for 25 years or more. And their being locked up is cold comfort to the families and loved ones of the victims in many of these cases.
   Now before you point out to me that the death penalty is not a deterrent, I acknowledge it isn't. It's making the guilty pay. And often with a lot less trauma, pain and suffering than they afforded their victims.
   And yes, I'm aware of the debate going on in the States about lethal injections being "cruel and inhumane". So, come up with another way of doing it.  Put them in a hypoxia chamber, take them up to the equivalent of 45 thousand feet, pop the cork on the chamber and let them die. Apparently, there's a lot less "trauma" and "suffering". The victim passes out long before death due to a lack of oxygen.
   Of course, you could always leave their fate in the hands of the families. I think they'd possibly come up with something a little more fitting.
   But it won't happen here. Our namby-pamby politicians are scared shitless of taking the bull by the horns and toughening up laws for offenders.
   Rant over:
  'Nuff said.

Random Ratbag Ramblings

   Nothing specific on the old Ratbag radar, just a few potential and current law cases. In the U.S, video of Ray Rice of the NFL Baltimore Ravens punching his then fiancée, knocking her out, has been released. What a sick fuck! I don't give a flying fuck what "provocation" he might have had, you don't hit a woman. And then drag her unconscious body out of the elevator where you hit her.
   Needless to say, there are calls being made for him to be turfed out of football altogether. If he ever does play again, It's my fervent hope on his very first play, some big, hulking linebacker tackles him so hard it snaps his spine, paralysing him.
   The most unbelievable thing about the whole sordid case is the fact the woman he hit married the son of a bitch!

   Speaking of sons of bitches, jury selection has started for this man:

   Luka Magnotta is charged with first degree murder in the killing and dismemberment of a Chinese student, Jun Lin, in May 2012. Lin's body parts were them mailed out to locations in Ottawa, and B.C. It's thought jury selection could take 2 weeks, and the trial another 6 to 8. If found guilty, under Canadian law, the maximum is life with no parole for 25 years. Unless he's declared a dangerous offender, and can be held indefinitely.
   I've got a better idea. Hand the asshole over to his victims family and let them deal with him. Or at least bring back the death penalty in Canada.

   Lastly from the sick fuck file, a woman in Alberta has been charged with the first degree murder of her own daughter. The woman (with the appropriate last name "Coward") was found standing outside the vehicle the 9 year olds body was found in. Seems there was a bitter divorce, with the girl's custody the main issue
   Again, I think the death penalty should apply.
   But then again, that's just my opinion.
   'Nuff said.

Just Hit "Delete", Kim

   Ratings for her "reality" show must really be bad. But not so bad that Kim Kartrashian needs to do this. Seems her and rap 'star' hubby Kanye may have made a sex tape. For the love of humanity Kim DELETE THE THING!!!!! Seems during an interview, she was asked about the possibility that one exists, and was, for a change, rather coy. She simply said "If we have, it's never something I want to go public".
   Thank fuck for that! I'm sure more than a few people would like to see her and hubby doing the vertical mamba, but not me. You know from past posts how I feel about this leech. I'll keep my comments about her husband private.....for now.
   If you do indeed have a tape of you getting railed by Kanye, delete the damn thing. And if your show sucks that bad, cancel it immediately and never EVER return to TV.
   'Nuff said.

Really? Fuckin' Really??

   I think technology and narcissism have gone a little too far. For about 75 bucks, you can now get a toaster you can download a "selfie" to, and literally 'print' your face on toast. It's called, not surprisingly, the "Selfie Toaster":

   How does it work? Apparently, you take a high quality selfie, or image of your choice, download it to a company in Vermont and they craft a special, one of a king toaster that (from what I could see, keeping in mind I'm not a technical genius) has some kind of plasma cutter thst burns or etches your image on the on the element inside the toaster. Yes, the result is edible, and you can have one image per slot. Sort of a 'his and hers' thing.
   No, you can't simply download an image on to the toaster to fit your whim, since there is a manufacturing step. And that's probably just as well. Who needs to see naked pictures on their toast first thing in the morning anyway? On the plus side, your toaster can't be "hacked" and your image "stolen". Or replaced with something offensive. It also means you can't do the "sexting" thing, using toast.
   I will NOT be getting one, and not because I can find a better use for 75 bucks. It's simply to do with the fact I don't do breakfast to begin with, and rarely eat toast for any other meal. It wasn't said if it'd work on waffles or English muffins.
   'Nuff said

Time For More Celeb-Retards

   And we'll start with one of my faves..Justin Bieber. Seems the little impacted anal hair is in trouble with the law.....again! Apparently, he's charged with dangerous driving and assault after an ATV and mini-van collided near his hometown in Ontario, and an occupant of the van (supposedly a paparazzi) was in an 'altercation' with him.
   Apparently, the Beeb was driving the ATV with sometime girlfriend Selena Gomez on board and were 'chased' by the photog. Justin: Next time you wanna collide with a mini van while you're on your ATV, please twist the throttle full open, and don't wear a helmet. Also, leave Selena behind. She is kinda hot.
   Anyway, he was arrested after going to a local OPP detachment, and is due in court later this month. And since he's on probation in the U.S for the egging incident, he may well end up behind bars. Seriously, it's time someone gave this punk a pants-down ass whipping with a hickory switch. Or a Ping-Pong paddle.
   Moving on:

   Jennifer Lawrence isn't a happy camper these days, after someone hacked her phone and posted nude pictures onto the 'net. She calls it an invasion of privacy, and the FBI is looking into it. Not the nude pics, the case itself.
   This comes after similarly "compromising" pictures of Kate Upton surfaced recently.
   You know what? Boo-fucking-hoo! Anyone's phone can be hacked, accessed and stuff stolen and posted on the web. Especially if you're a 'celebrity'. Sure, you might be able to upgrade security on your device, but sure as shit someone's gonna come up with a way around it.
   And secondly, why have naked pictures taken of yourself and stored on your device in the first place? Grow a fucking brain!
   'Nuff said.