The P.C Police Have Gone Too Far

   Way too fucking far. Seems not a few schools in Canada have basically banned Halloween, and are now calling it "Orange and Black" day instead. And it's over fears they are not being "inclusive" enough.
   Fuck off.
   In fact, fuck as far off as you can get. They're worried about Halloween's supposed ties with the occult. Bullshit. "Halloween" is, in fact, a contraction of "All Hallows Evening" which precedes the christian holiday of All Hallows Day, celebrating saints and other stuff. Yeah, there are some pagan roots, but to link it to the occult.....bullshit.
   So now, kids across Canada can't celebrate a day almost as big as Christmas day is, because some namby pamby asshole decided (and probably bitched about it) that Halloween excludes people with different beliefs.
   Choke on my choad. As mentioned, Christmas has been stolen from kids for the same reason. Making it more "inclusive". And just like Christmas there will be no pageant, parade or other celebration in many schools today.
   Ya know what? If holidays like Halloween and Christmas "offend" you, keep your own fucking brat home and let other kids have some fun. And oh, yeah. YOU chose to come to this country. YOU should adapt somewhat to our system. You wanna worship your own god? So be it. You wanna keep your cultural ties strong? So be it. Just quit shoving YOUR values and beliefs down other people's throats and fucking it up for everyone else!
   Rant over.
   'Nuff said.

Random Ratbag Ramblings

   And where better to start then with those damned Kardashian Klowns. Seems the P.C police have got their panties in a knot over the Kardashian Kids Kollection at Babies 'R Us. Seems some parents don't think having their age zero to 24 month girl dressing up in leatherette mini-skirts is a good idea. Maybe they've got a point on that. Here's a better one. Don't buy Kardashian trash!
   Speaking of Kartrashians (well, a Jenner actually), 17 year old Kylie is under fire for what appears to be a big botox booster to her lips. I've seen the pic, and I gotta admit she looks gross with the 'enhancement'. But then, she's 17. And what the hell do 17 year olds know, right?
   Moving on: The P.C police are also pissed at Victoria's Secret for their "perfect body" ads. So fucking what. They've got great bodies, and can flaunt them. It's advertising for fuck sakes, not real life. O-kay, some of the models look like they could stand to eat a few more meals, but so what? Victoria's Secret was never designed or intended for "real women" anyway. In fact, I wonder if the ads target men. Using sex to sell? Nah. Companies would never stoop that low (sarcasm button needed).
   Moving on: Who the fuck is Jian Ghomeshi, and why the fuck should we care? Apparently, he's a recently fired CBC hack who had his own radio show. What it was about, I don't know or care. I loath the CBC, and think the taxpayer funded network should be privatized. But I digress
   Seems Jian is suing CBC for 55 million dollars after getting the chop. But why? Did he say "fuck" on the air?. No. Has he been accused of slapping and choking women during sessions of alleged BDSM sex? Actually, yeah. At least 8 women have come forward suggesting they were choked and/or slapped without consent. If these allegations prove true, and if he's found guilty and convicted, Jian should be taken out and shot.
   'Nuff said

Tragic News In Entertainment

   O-kay, maybe not. Cable network TLC has cancelled "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". About fucking time! I've managed to escape the trailer trash show about the fat, ugly little brat who, apparently, was a contestant in another "reality" show, "Toddlers and Tiara's" (which lead to her and her family getting their own show). At least for the most part. But I've been subjected to enough seconds of it to develop a deep loathing of all things "Honey Boo-Boo".
   Why was this piece of shit cancelled? Low ratings? No. Was the "matriarch" of this junk, "Mama June", caught cavorting with a convicted child molester? Actually, yes. And her new "man" was convicted (according to gossip website TMZ) of molesting one of June's own daughters, who was all of 8 at the time. Nice guy, huh? He should've been taken out and shot.
   It seems June was seen "cuddling" with this guy in a picture taken about a month or so ago. Yeah, I know. I threw up a little in my mouth, too. The asshole in question was just sprung from prison after serving 10 years for the assault, details of which I will NOT document here, and Mama "picked up" with him. Apparently, he's a former ex of hers.
  At least the family won't starve, even though they all look like they could benefit from skipping a few months of meals and living of their lard. Seems Mama is adept at feeding the family on 80 bucks a week, through coupons, and the judicious harvesting of road-kill. At least with that, most of the animal had already been "grilled".
   But the sudden loss of income might make life tougher for them. They may have to move back into the single-wide from the double-wide.
   And as for that fat, disgusting, piggy little brat "Honey", her career may not be over yet. She could be the poster-child for making full-term abortions legal and readily available.
  'Nuff said.

Call Him "Stumpy"

   Seems a judge in Alabama has thrown out a lawsuit by some dick-less wonder over a botched surgery. In this case, a circumcision that ended up taking more than "a little off the top". Our friend "Stumpy", or John Banks as he's properly known, and his wife had tried a 2nd time to sue the hospital and doctors who they say left him a little "short". They say instead of just a little snip here, and a little snip there, went a little far and (Johnny claims) lopped of his manhood!
   I don't know if John was trying to show the judge his "Johnny" and the evidence didn't "stand up in court", but the judge dismissed the lawsuit, saying the claim wasn't specific enough under malpractice laws.
   I don't know how much more specific you can get, not being able to whip out your wang. However, the judge did leave the door open for John to try and come again. Something he apparently can't do now.
   And what about his stuffed animal collection? What's going to happen to "Spank":

   The monkey
   And "Choke":

   The chicken? Will he have to "hand" them off to someone else?
   And Johnny: Try and keep your pecker up, guy!
   'Nuff said.

A Sad Day In Ottawa

   It finally happened here. At least one gunman with a double-barrel shotgun opened fire in the nations Capital. It started at the War Memorial, where a soldier standing as an honour guard was brutally shot, and later died. Then, at least one gunman ran into Parliament, where he was shot dead by the Sergeant At Arms in the house. But not before at least 30 shots echoed through the corridors of power, and not before a security guard was also wounded.
   Police believe 3 shooters may have been involved in this attack, because (at the time of this writing) there were reports of gunfire outside Parliament, as well as inside.
   And (at the time of this writing) the guessing begins as to who was responsible. Naturally, the immediate finger of blame is pointing at Islamic extremists, given the fact that when Canada joined the air-war against ISIL terrorists in Iraq they promised attacks. That, and a man who became "radicalized" ran down 2 soldiers with a car, killing one, before being killed himself.
   And the irrational reactions have also started, with either racial or religious profiling already underway before we know who and why. Now, I'm not a fan of Islam, or any religion for that matter, but to paint absolutely everyone with the same brush, and call for mass deportations is unrealistic. It will be a popular call, but still unrealistic.
   So, what happens now? Well, cops will do their investigation and likely make some arrests. Security will be greatly stepped up not only in Ottawa, but provincial capitals and likely major government buildings as well. And life will go on.
   To the family of the slain soldiers, my deepest condolences. To those responsible for the attack: Fuck off and die, you cunts.
   'Nuff said.

Damn It, He's Getting Better

  It seems Sum Dum Fuk, er I mean Kim Jung Un, may be on the mend. At least according to State media reports. North Korea's whacky fat dictator hadn't been seen in 40 days, fuelling speculation he'd shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.
   But it seems all the talk of 'lil Kim popping off is just that. Talk. There are 2 new video's of him, walking with the aid of a cane. What wasn't said was when these videos were taken. There's no clue if it was September 3rd (the last day he was seen) or October 13th.
   Without him holding up something like today's edition of the New York Times, we can still live in hope that the little fat fuk has indeed snuffed it.
   Of course if that happens, the power vacuum created wouldn't last long. One of his siblings would fill the spot faster that a frog with a fart.
   Chances are, though, 'lil Kim is alive and kicking. Although right now, with just one leg.
   'Nuff said.

Aw, 'Lil Kim Has A Boo-Boo

   Yup! Everyone's favorite tin-pot dictator Kim Jung Un, or as I call him Sum Dum Fuk, is on the limp. North Korea's leader ain't been seen for quite a while, and was noticeably M-I-A from an important event. Namely, the anniversary of the founding of his country by his Grand-dad. Seems someone else laid wreaths at the mausoleum of Gramps and dear old Dad instead.
   So, the big question is: What's taken Kim down? Some sources with 'knowledge' of the north say he pulled a tendon or ligament doing military exercises with his generals. And judging by the look of him, he needs it! He's turning into a little fat Fuk!
   Other reports say he was bitten by a dog. Maybe one of the ones he sicced on an uncle to have him killed. In fact, he's been so A-WOL that state media, which usually fawns over him, hasn't said jack-shit about him in a month. An absence that long in a communist country usually means the 'dear leader' has taken a permanent vacation. Something like the 9 mm kind. However, reports from the North continue saying Kim is the man in charge, but will need 100 days to recover. Either that, or he's already dead and the party in-fighting to pick a successor has started. If that's the case, we can expect to hear in a few months how 'lil Kim fought a brave fight, but succumbed to an unmentioned disease.
   In which case, we'll be rid of Sum Dum Fuk. Until the powers that be name another dumb fuck to take over.
   I just wonder if they use black and white smoke like they do at the vatican when they choose their new 'leader'? Habemus Dictator!
   'Nuff said.

Totally Ab "Zorb" Ing

   You've probably heard of "zorbing". That's when you climb into what almost looks like an inflatable hamster freedom ball for humans and start rolling around in it. There've been videos of people going down hills etc, but in a case of extreme "zorbing" comes the story of some dumb shit who tried to "zorb" from the U.S to Bermuda and back, tracing the so-called "Bermuda Triangle".
   Yup! The 42 year old peace activist tried to walk more than 3 thousand miles in a cylindrical one with outboard paddles attached. Something like an old paddle-wheeler. On board, he had water and energy bars for food. Nothing else, just energy bars.
   His walk came to an end when, tired and disoriented, he radioed the U.S Coast Guard for help. This comes after the Coast Guard warned him earlier this week about his 'quest', only to have their warning ignored. The man, an Iranian refugee, told them he planned on fishing to augment his nutrition bars. He didn't say just how, or even if, he planned on cooking the catch.
   And while they rescued the guy, his bubble was lost at sea. Along with his passport, Green Card and shoes.
   I just can't, or don't want to, imagine how the inside of that zorb must've stunk.
   Hope he never breeds!
   'Nuff said.