Size Matters

   Just ask any guy if they'd prefer 11 or 12 inches. I'm pretty sure most would say 12. And in Australia, that extra inch is getting a lot of play. It seems an Aussie, who I'll call "Bruce" just to keep it clear, got a footlong from a local Subway.....and when he got it home, he MEASURED it, and found it was one inch short. Apparently, he even posted a picture of said sub, next to a ruler, on Subways Facebook page. The post was taken down, but the fast food joint denies they did it.
   Oh, it doesn't end there either. "Bruce"'s dilemma was picked up by the New York Post, who did some checking of their own. They bought several reputedly footlong subs, and found 4 of 7 didn't measure up. A spokesman for the company had an explanation, saying since the bread is baked in different locations, there may well be a variance in length.
   But now, questions need to be asked. First, who the fuck goes around measuring their sandwich? Second, who the fuck cares about one missing inch? And what's the sub shop supposed do, refund the guy 42 cents on his 5 dollar footlong? I don't think so.
   And a word of warning to all you guys out there: When you're bragging to your lover about the massive size of your salami, make sure it'll pass the "tale of the tape".
   'Nuff said.