Your Toilet Is Now Under Our Control

   Especially if you own a high-tech one in Japan. It seems a certain make of toilet-bidet can be, of all things, hacked! A security firm says the toilets have a Bluetooth security flaw which could indeed allow "outside access" to your bog. But only if they're in range of the high end privy. It's not like the thing is "logged" on to the internet or anything, but a hacker could well gain access to the toilet and flush repeatedly, inflating water bills.
   Other potential problems include someone being able to raise or lower the seat remotely, activate bidet or air dryer functions causing any potential user discomfort. To say the least.
   The question, of course, is why would anyone need a toilet controlled by their phone? Have we got to the point now where we need to program our crapper to set pressure and temperature of water in the bidet? Same with the "air-dry" function. I mean, does it have a "curl" setting or what?
   Sorry, but I think I'll continue using my old fashioned shitter. The one with a single flush setting. And no bidet or air dry!
   Which reminds me.....I've gotta go get some more "after dinner" rolls.
   'Nuff said

Remeber These Folks?

   That May to December couple is, of course, is 24 year old Maygan Sensenberger and her 70 year old hubby, Liberal Senator Rod Zimmer. I've blogged about these 2 in the past, going back to August of last year when May allegedly assaulted hubby on a flight from Winnipeg to Saskatoon. Anyway, it seems the senator is stepping down for "health reasons" before the mandatory retirement age of 75.
   But don't worry folks, they won't be in the poor house for a while yet. Because he served 6 years in the un-elected upper house, he get's a taxpayer funded pension. Plus the pensions he got from the private sector. So Maygan won't have to apply for pogey just yet. Or be out walking the streets either.
   The "health reason" old Roddy boy is listing for his stepping down is several trips to hospital for breathing problems. That may well be the case, but I think there could be a few reasons behind it. Viagra poisoning perhaps? Swelling in a certain area that won't go down? A lack of blood flow to the brain? Only his doctor, and Maygan, know for sure.
   'Nuff said.

Oh, Canada. Eh?

   Quite a bit has been going on in my home and native land lately. First, the RCMP have been involved in a couple of shootings in Alberta. One saw a Mountie use deadly force near the provincial capital of Edmonton after he got in a tussle with 2 men suspected of drunk driving. One man was killed, the other wounded. In the other, a man was wounded in the Rocky Mountains after another confrontation when his car was pulled over. And if that's not enough, the Mounties used a taser on a guy south of Edmonton. He later died.
   On the east coast, 2 kids were killed when a python somehow got out of it's pet shop enclosure and slithered up the stairs to an apartment where the kids were having a sleepover. Seems the snake coiled itself around them, and.....being a constrictor.....did what comes naturally and put on the squeeze. Dead are 2 brothers, ages 7 and 5. The snake is in custody.
   In the heartland, financial woes for this premier:

   Saskatchewan, and premier Brad Wall, have been boasting the past few years about having one of very few balanced budget in the country, thanks largely to non-renewable resources like oil, gas and potash. But the potash industry has taken a hit lately, and the government could be facing a severe shortage in revenue. The province has seen quite a bit of growth in population recently, due mainly to what my spies say is foreign immigration, and people moving in from other parts of Canada.
   There used to be a joke about Saskatchewan that the last person leaving should turn off the lights. I'm wondering if that joke won't come back to haunt them again.
   And now I'm off to do something extremely Canadian.....visit Tim's for a double double and a bag of maple Tim Bits.
   'Nuff said.

Holy Crap, It's Slow These Days

   And that's why I haven't been doing many posts. There just ain't  whole lot to blog about these days. After the Royal Baby birth, things have quieted right down. No new donut-burger combos. No recent scandal in any church, and with the exception of Amanda Bynes, no celebrity doings either.
   I dunno about where you live, but the weather here is damn near perfect for golfing. Shame my game sucks. I guess there's just one way to improve it.....hit the links. I hope this dry spell doesn't continue too long. It gets boring not having anything to blog about.
   Well, off to the course.
   'Nuff said.
  

Move Over Krispy Kreme Burger

   There's a new contender out there vying for your fast food dollars. It's the cronut burger. A cronut is a hybrid cross between a croissant and a donut, and, like the Krispy Kreme, serves as the "bun" for a hamburger. Now, I wouldn't mind trying a cronut, but not as part of a burger. And in case you were wondering, the only place you can get this monstrosity is at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto. Thank fuck for that!
   In the past, the CNE has offered artery hardening fare like deep fried butter, deep fried pizza and deep fried chocolate bars. I just wonder of you can get the cronut burger deep fried. I also wonder if it comes in a coffin shaped container, 'cause if you eat too many of these, you'll need a funeral.
   I do get the fact that it's at the CNE, and I do get the fact it's billed as a specialty item, but still.....no thanks!
   And I'd guess it won't be too long before someone decides to one-up Krispy Kreme and serve a cronut Sloppy Joe. Again, no thanks. I like the slow, steady 70 beats a minute my heart runs at right now, and if I want to elevate that, I'll go for a walk. Right past the cronut burger stand.
   'Nuff said.

Sorry, I'm Tied Up At The Moment

   And it seems folks in London, England are a little more tied up than usual lately. Fire crews have been getting emergency calls to help people who have been taking part in bondage. And can't get out. And it's not just handcuffs the 999 calls have ben coming in for. People have been getting stuck in everything from toys to toilet seats.....and even shredders! Ouch!!!!!
   And what's behind the increase? Officials say it might be due to the movie 50 Shades Of Grey. It seems sex shops and even hardware stores have seen an influx of people looking for something kinky in the toy or rope line.
   Needless to say, the London Fire Brigade is asking people NOT to call with something as mundane as being handcuffed or tied up, and only ring them for an emergency.
   I'm wondering about a couple of things though. If you're handcuffed to the bed or something and Mother Nature calls, is that an emergency? And if your lover ties you up and then leaves, how do you call 999 in the first place?
   Now if you'll excuse me, I have to read up on how Houdini managed to escape from a set of 'cuffs.
   'Nuff said.

What's Frankie Up To These Days?

   Well, it seems Frankie the First has just wrapped up a tour of Brazil, where millions gathered on a beach for a mass. It also seems Frank has said he wouldn't judge priests for their sexual orientation.....meaning gay. Hmmm. Here I though priests were not supposed to have ANY sexual orientation. I thought they were supposed to be celibate. Anyway, it seems former pope Benny signed a document in 2005 that said men with deep-rooted homosexual tendencies should not be priests. Now, Frankie is saying gay priests should be forgiven, and their sins forgotten. Right. Tell that to the victims and families of victims of gay pedophile priests.
   All this follows reports that a trusted aide to Frankie (a "clergyman" himself) was involved in a gay tryst some 10 years or so ago. The pope investigated and, not surprisingly, claims to have found nothing to back up the allegations. Yeah, right.
   Does this mean Frankie has tacitly given the green light to allow gay priests to be ordained? No answer from me on that. Will it help or hinder the vatican's supposed crack-down on pedophile priests? No answer from me on that one either. The man with those answers, if he'll ever give any, is Frankie himself. And given the secretive nature of that church, I doubt we'll hear anything.
   'Nuff said.