Random Shit Friday

   The title says it all, folks. I'm just throwing some random shit on here to see what sticks. And we'll start with the worlds largest fast-food chain:

   Yup! Rotten Ronnies. Seems down State-side McD's is shrinking, even if the poor fuckers who eat their food aren't. Ron's is shuttering several restaurants, closing more than they open this year. A spokesperson says the closures will be "minimal". And while exact figures haven't been released, the chain plans on cutting 700 worldwide. And I gotta agree! Do we really need a Golden Arches every mile or so? Are people getting so fucking fat they can't even DRIVE the extra distance? O-kay. That was a stupid question. Of course they can't.
   Still with fast food: Seem Burger King's at it again in Japan. They came out with an all-black burger not long ago. Black bun, cheese and burger. Now, they're going Red. It's called the Aka Samurai Burger. Aka means 'red' in Japanese apparently. And, you guessed it, it's a red bun, red cheese and a tomato just because they can. It's supposed to be spicy. And if beef ain't your thing, the same concoction will be offered in chicken.

   Moving on: Donald Trump for President. Bwa-haw-haw-haw! It's sad, but true. The Donald has thrown his hat (and comb-over) into the race for the Republican nomination, and has tapped Oprah fucking Winfrey as VEEP. I'm glad I live in Canada! Oh, wait a sec. That's right! We've got Stephen Hitler..er..Harper..as Prime Minister. Speaking of politicians, yet another Canadian member of the unelected Senate is in deep shit. Not for dipping into the public purse, but for (allegedly) dipping into an underage 16 year old girl. Although she says there was no in-out till she was 18. Not that it matters.

   Moving on again: Pope Frankie is calling on world leaders to do something to protect the environment, and save our ruined planet. Frank says we must fix the "perverse economy". Sure thing Frankie, sure thing. By the way, when are YOU going to do something about the perverted priesthood and save those ruined by them?
   I'm waiting.
   'Nuff said

The "New" Top Gear? Not For Me

   Months after Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson was shit-canned, the BBC has announced his 'replacement'. Chris Evans was featured on the show a few times, and is admittedly a car fanatic. But he doesn't have the charisma Clarkson had (despite his foibles), and I don't think he's got what it takes to be able to carry what was the world's most popular car show. And it was THE most popular motoring show "in the world", as Clarkson would put it. It was also the most popular BBC show, with 350 million viewers.
   But naming Evans as the new host is just one of the many problems the once storied franchise faces. Also gone are his side-kicks, James "Captain Slow" May and Richard "Hamster" Hammond. At least according to reports I've seen. Just who's been tapped to replace them has not yet been announced. But whoever the 'new crew' turn out to be, I, among millions of others, will NOT be watching when the show re-launches.
   The "why" is simple. After more than 20 years, the trio above built up a rapport between themselves, and with the audience. They also built up a trust, if you will, with viewers. That's something the new hosts will probably never be able to do.
   Don't get me wrong. Top Gear is far from being put in "park". There's still a lot of mileage left in the show. But without Clarkson, Hammond and May it may soon be running on empty.
   'Nuff said.

Oh Shit, They're Breeding Again

   Sad to report this, but Kim Lardasian is carrying another spawn of Kanye West. And, surprise, surprise, she made the announcement on the mid-season finale of their "reality" show. Ratings were that bad Kim? And what're you going to call this one? Her first brat is "North West". What're they gonna call this one. South? I just hope the 'mother ship' returns to take Kimye and the rest of that gang back to the planet Kardash.
   Speaking of the unspeakable family, I also see Bruce Jenner has picked a name for when he crosses over to become 'she': Caitlyn. At least he/she's spelling it with a "C", rather than a "K"..
   The only reason I know about this shit is from listening to one of my local radio stations. But also after hearing them drone on and on about this, I might just switch stations.
   'Nuff said.

"You're Fired"

   Yep! 'Lil Kim's at it again. Kim Jong Un (aka Sum Dum Fuk) has had another member of his inner circle executed. This time, it's the Chief of Defence. What'd this guy do? Fall asleep while the Great Successor was at the same event as him?
   Actually, yeah. The latest victim of a purge by 'Lil Kim not only nodded off, but was accused of treason, and disobeying the little Fuk. I dunno how many of his inner circle the little ass-wipe has had offed, but it's gotta be getting near 20. At this rate, 'Lil Kim's not gonna have an inner circle. Not that they have much choice but to accept a position offered by him. It's either that, or the firing squad.
   Which is exactly what happened to the now departed Hyon Yong Chol. But it wasn't your traditional firing squad of 5 or 6 guys with rifles. Oh, no. 'Lil Kim stood him up at a range, and used a fucking anti-aircraft gun to get the job done!
   Much as I wish this idiot would shuffle off this mortal coil, I do have to give him some style points on this one. A fucking anti-aircraft gun!
   'Nuff said.

Finally! The Long Nightmare Is Ending

   Has it really been 15 years? It seems like a fuck of a lot longer than that. Either way, American Idol is going to milk the already dry cow one final season, then GOODBYE FOREVER!!!!! We hope. It's true. FOX says their flagship show, which has been sinking in the ratings the past few years, is going off the air at the end of the 2016 season.
   I freely admit to this: I did watch season 2, but then it just turned into karaoke night in America with a seemingly endless stream of medium talent "singers" parading one after the other after the other, and I rapidly lost interest. In fact, I can only name 3 winners: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Ruben Studdard. And of the 3, the only one to achieve superstardom was Underwood.
   A lot of people will say the downward slide started when Simon Cowell left. Or Paula Abdul. I can't remember who left first. Not that it mattered, anyway. As I said, it deteriorated to the point where (for me the 3rd season) it got unwatchable.
   So, goodbye American Idol. Now if we could just get rid of Survivor, Big Brother and The Voice. TV might become watchable again.
   'Nuff said.

Wanna See Something Creepy?

   There it is. That's McDonald's new take on the Hamburglar. Yep! After 13 years in mascot limbo, Rotten Ronnies has brought him back. But not as the almost likable character of decades ago:

   No. This new, real life incarnation is supposed to represent the "suburban dad", and will promote the chain's new 1/3lb sirloin burger. Sorry McD's, but he looks like a potential pedophile on the loose. Either that, or a rejected villain from the old Batman TV series in the '60's.
   Whoever they have for an ad agency, and what made them think this is going to fly must be fucked in the head. Maybe they'd better call Officer Big Mac out of retirement to shoot the son of a bitch. Or at least taser the fucker. The character looks that fuckin' creepy.
   I don't know how many millions Ron's blew on this, and all for a sirloin burger, but I doubt they're gonna get their money's worth out of it.
   Maybe they should've put the cash into some serious R and D to make their McGarbage food actually taste good.
   'Nuff said.

'Lil Kim Is Pissed

   North Korea's Kim Jung Un, aka Sum Dum Fuk, apparently was very pissed with 15 members of his inner circle. So pissed, in fact, he had them executed. South Korea's spy agency says it stems from their challenging Kim's authority. One had the audacity to complain about state policy, and it seems 4 others, members of the state orchestra where 'Lil Kim's wife performed as a singer were also shot.
   Makes you wonder if they were complaining Kimmy's Mrs sounded like Yoko Ono. As for the others, you kinda wonder if they were offed after spilling the beans about Kim 'climbing' the highest peak in the North (see post below).
   Whatever the case, if old numbnuts keeps killing his own people, he'll be the "great successor" to fuck all.
   'Nuff said.