Move Over Krispy Kreme Burger

   There's a new contender out there vying for your fast food dollars. It's the cronut burger. A cronut is a hybrid cross between a croissant and a donut, and, like the Krispy Kreme, serves as the "bun" for a hamburger. Now, I wouldn't mind trying a cronut, but not as part of a burger. And in case you were wondering, the only place you can get this monstrosity is at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto. Thank fuck for that!
   In the past, the CNE has offered artery hardening fare like deep fried butter, deep fried pizza and deep fried chocolate bars. I just wonder of you can get the cronut burger deep fried. I also wonder if it comes in a coffin shaped container, 'cause if you eat too many of these, you'll need a funeral.
   I do get the fact that it's at the CNE, and I do get the fact it's billed as a specialty item, but still.....no thanks!
   And I'd guess it won't be too long before someone decides to one-up Krispy Kreme and serve a cronut Sloppy Joe. Again, no thanks. I like the slow, steady 70 beats a minute my heart runs at right now, and if I want to elevate that, I'll go for a walk. Right past the cronut burger stand.
   'Nuff said.

Sorry, I'm Tied Up At The Moment

   And it seems folks in London, England are a little more tied up than usual lately. Fire crews have been getting emergency calls to help people who have been taking part in bondage. And can't get out. And it's not just handcuffs the 999 calls have ben coming in for. People have been getting stuck in everything from toys to toilet seats.....and even shredders! Ouch!!!!!
   And what's behind the increase? Officials say it might be due to the movie 50 Shades Of Grey. It seems sex shops and even hardware stores have seen an influx of people looking for something kinky in the toy or rope line.
   Needless to say, the London Fire Brigade is asking people NOT to call with something as mundane as being handcuffed or tied up, and only ring them for an emergency.
   I'm wondering about a couple of things though. If you're handcuffed to the bed or something and Mother Nature calls, is that an emergency? And if your lover ties you up and then leaves, how do you call 999 in the first place?
   Now if you'll excuse me, I have to read up on how Houdini managed to escape from a set of 'cuffs.
   'Nuff said.

What's Frankie Up To These Days?

   Well, it seems Frankie the First has just wrapped up a tour of Brazil, where millions gathered on a beach for a mass. It also seems Frank has said he wouldn't judge priests for their sexual orientation.....meaning gay. Hmmm. Here I though priests were not supposed to have ANY sexual orientation. I thought they were supposed to be celibate. Anyway, it seems former pope Benny signed a document in 2005 that said men with deep-rooted homosexual tendencies should not be priests. Now, Frankie is saying gay priests should be forgiven, and their sins forgotten. Right. Tell that to the victims and families of victims of gay pedophile priests.
   All this follows reports that a trusted aide to Frankie (a "clergyman" himself) was involved in a gay tryst some 10 years or so ago. The pope investigated and, not surprisingly, claims to have found nothing to back up the allegations. Yeah, right.
   Does this mean Frankie has tacitly given the green light to allow gay priests to be ordained? No answer from me on that. Will it help or hinder the vatican's supposed crack-down on pedophile priests? No answer from me on that one either. The man with those answers, if he'll ever give any, is Frankie himself. And given the secretive nature of that church, I doubt we'll hear anything.
   'Nuff said.

I Spit On My Fans

   Yes, this little turd is making news for all the wrong reasons again. This time, there's a photo of Justin Beiber apparently getting set to hawk a loogie off a balcony at a Toronto hotel. On the street below. Right where his "fans" have gathered.
   Shit, it was just 2 weeks ago I blogged about this little asswipe after he pissed in a janitor's bucket in the kitchen of a restaurant, and also made derogatory comments about a former U.S President. Who he later called and apologized to.
   This is the same jerk who keeps his fans waiting for hours at his 'shows', and posed for a picture with the Stanley Cup with a customized Bieber jersey behind him. This is the same tool who got in a scuffle with a neighbor, allegedly hit a paparazzi (about the only thing I'll commend him for) and likes drinking Sizzurp (a mix of codeine based cough syrup and fizzy fruit drinks).
   Keep it up Beebs, and you won't HAVE any fans by the time your through. And yeah, I know he's worth 110 million, but the way he's going, he'll be through that by the time he hits 25. And when that happens, he'll be lucky to get a job flipping burgers at Mc D's.
   We can always hope he joins the "27" club. Google it yourself.
   'Nuff said.

A Bonus Track Today

   Speculation about the name of the Royal baby is now over. And tradition runs strong. The 3rd in line to the British throne will be known as George Alexander Louis, meaning some day he'll be known as George VII. His first name is from his great-great grandfather, and current Queen Elizabeth II's father. For now, he'll be His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge.
  And now the press can fuck off and leave the family alone!!
   'Nuff said.

Amazing! A Rant

   Space exploration has been in the news a lot this week. It was 44 years ago July 20th man first set foot on the moon. Then, the Cassini probe near Saturn took a picture of Earth and the moon.....and a remarkable picture it is. And the Messenger probe near Mercury also took our portrait. Then, the Mars Curiosity rover set a distance record of 329 feet.
   And yet a lot of the comments I've seen continue showing how stupid people are. First, the moon landing. A lot of people continue saying it was fake. Then, the latest portrait of us and our place in the solar system. People say it was photo-shopped. As far as Curiosity goes, if people aren't saying that's taking place on a stage or in some remote part of the Mojave, they deride what is an amazing accomplishment.
   Folks who can't grasp how important these milestones in exploration have been are either living in the dark ages, or have their heads stuck in the sand. I vividly remember watching the Apollo missions, and was glued to the T.V when the late Neil Armstrong and "Buzz" Aldrin took those historic steps on the moon. And for those doubters who say it was staged, please explain how data from instruments left on the moon's surface by all the Apollo missions is STILL being retrieved and analyzed. I guess they'll say it's contrived and is as fake as the landing itself.
   As for the Cassini/Messenger pictures, they were not photo-shopped. In fact, it's a great counterpoint to the momentous "Family Portrait" taken by Voyager 2 in 1990, which highlighted what the late Carl Sagan called "The Pale Blue Dot". Although people will still ask "where are the stars" in the pictures without knowing about exposure times etc.
   Finally, Curiosity. 329 feet doesn't sound like a lot here on earth, but consider the environment on Mars, and the fact that commands from Earth take a few minutes to make it to that remarkable rover.
   So, where does this leave us? Apparently in 2 different camps. On the one side, you have rational, thinking, scientifically aware people who not only don't doubt our space achievements, but would like to see more. A return to the moon.....possibly a manned Mars mission. Certainly, more probes to the regions not physically attainable by humans.
   Then, there's the other camp. Most (not all, but most) seem to live in a netherworld where science is downplayed if not vilified. In other words, religious fanatics who want to believe more in a Fairy Tale where some cloud rider controls us rather than the rational world where WE are more or less in control. Not always for the good, I admit.
   I choose to live in the rational world, rather than cloud cuckoo land.
   'Nuff said.

Now That's Class!

   Paul McCartney, as you know, is on tour in North America, and people like Justin Bieber, Rihanna and others should take note of this. Not only will Paul be on time for tonight's gig in Quebec, but the former Beatle and Wings star is making it a very special night for literally hundreds of people. He and his entourage set aside 1 thousand tickets for the show for people in Lac Megantic, who's lives were turned upside down by the train disaster earlier this month. It all stemmed from a suggestion by the promoter, which was quickly agreed to by the star and his group.
   900 people gave taken McCartney up on the offer. And they will have transport as well. Several busses have been chartered to take fans to and from the concert tonight. They'll be in the "general admission" section behind the zone at the front of the stage. And no, they won't get to meet Paul, although he's indicated he'll say something to the crowd about the disaster during the show.
   And if that's not enough, the promoter also collected 5 grand from a Bruno Mar's show and donated it to the towns recovery fund.
   Class all the way!
   'Nuff said.