Happy Thanksgiving

   Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S, and I'd like to take the time to wish all my American viewers the best of the festive season. Of course, this also marks the start of the "golden quarter" for retailers, with "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday" both coming up in the next few days.
   There will be some stores in many major U.S cities opening tomorrow as well as Friday.
   So, stuff your faces, and empty your wallets!
   And just a reminder to stay away from the pumpkin pie, since this is how they're made:

   Happy Thanksgiving!
   'Nuff said.

Guess Who's Getting Married

   Yup! Charlie Manson is tying the knot. Manson is serving a life sentence for the brutal slayings of 7 people, including actress Sharon Tate and supermarket executive Leno LaBianca. And while Chuck didn't play an active role in either of the butcherings, he did order them, and his followers in the Manson "Family" carried them out.
   That was back in 1969. Chuck's been serving life since being found guilty in 1971. Originally, he (and some of his other minions) were sentenced to death, but those were commuted.
   And now, at age 80, he's getting married to a 26 year old woman, Afton Burton, who left her Midwestern home 9 years ago, and has been trying to exonerate Chuck since. No date has been set, but apparently it has to happen before February 7th next year, or Charlie will have to re-apply for a license.
   As for the "why": Well, she says she loves the guy. She also said she is interested in working on his case, and marrying him would allow her to get information not available to nonrelatives. But don't worry, there will not be any "wedding night", even if Chuck can get it up at his age. Under California law, as a life prisoner with no parole date, Manson is not entitled to family visits.
   He can, however, invite 10 guests to the nuptials, so long as they're not inmates. Lets just hope this son of a bitch dies first.
   'Nuff said

Things You Can't Un-See

   Yeah, that's Kim Lard-Ass-Ian in that Paper Magazine shoot we've all heard about. All I can say is...YUCK! Not that I don't appreciate a nicely rounded derriere on a woman, far from it. But it looks like she glued 2 Zorbs together and oiled them up. I think this is a photo-shop job pure and simple.
   No woman has an ass that shape. I mean, if it's firm, she'd tip over one way or other. Plus, she's in her 30's, and has calved. That thing should be cellulite city by now, butt there's no sign of dimples. And then, there's her waist. Ain't no way it can be that small in proportion.
   And it gets worse. She turned around and gave a full-frontal "money shot", which (if you care to google it yourself, I'm not posting it here) looks just as photo-shopped as the back view. Her tits don't sag, her gut is firm, and her nether region.....well, I'm leaving that one alone. Not that I don't appreciate women in a state of undress, but what I saw left me feeling.....meh!.
   It almost looks like they found an ass, a set of boobs and a torso, mushed them together in a Frankenstein kind of way, and stuck a picture of her head on top of the resulting mess. As far as the Kartrashian girls go, she's probably the best looking of the lot (which still ain't sayin' much). But Kim, put your clothes back on. The caption on this, by the way, was "break the internet". All this did was break my eyes.
   Has anyone got something to purge this from my brain? Other than a 10 gauge shotgun. Please??
   'Nuff said.
*****UPDATE*****
   Having dissed Kim, saying I don't find her particularly attractive, I've decided to add this picture of what I think is a beautiful woman:

Pause And Remember

   It is the 11th day of the 11th month. And at the 11th hour, people across the Commonwealth paused to remember those who gave their lives in war. This year is a little more special than others, since it's the 100th anniversary of the start of World War I and the 75th anniversary of the start of World War II.
   There are no more World War I vets left. Florence Green served in the WRAF (Women's Royal Air Force), and enlisted in September 1918. Of course, she never saw combat, but she was still the last of the last. Florence died in 2012.
   The last verified combat vet of that war was Claude Choules, who served in the Royal Navy. He died in 2011 The last surviving vet to serve in the trenches was Harry Patch, who died in 2009. Franz  Kunstler was the last Central Powers veteran. He died in 2008.
   The list of surviving World War II vets is also getting shorter and shorter. It's possible the last veteran of that war may pass away before I do. And I'm no spring chicken, either.
   While both global conflicts are the centre of most services, lets not forget those who died in Korea, Afghanistan and all other armed conflicts. Their sacrifice should be remembered also.
   To those who died, and to all who served, I salute you.
   'Nuff said.

Easy Stomach, Don't Roll Over Now

   And it wasn't a bad night of burritos and beer, the expired milk or that slightly fuzzy looking slice of 5 day old pizza that's got my gut trembling either. Nope! Seems someone had a brain-wave (or a brain-fart), and came up with this:

   Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is, in fact, Mountain Dew and Doritos. I happen to like both, thank you very much., but maybe not after this. Someone has come up with (barf bags on standby) Dorito's flavored Mountain Dew. And, without word of a lie, they're calling it "Dewitos", and it'll be nacho cheese flavor.
   For now (and hopefully forever) this monstrosity is confined to a few college campuses in the States, but it could soon make it's way to a broader market. One person says it tastes like shoving a fistful of the chips into your mouth, and guzzling a Dew.
   Will I try it if it ever makes it's way to my market? No. No way in hell, and I'm quite adventurous when it comes to food.
   But I guess for real lazy people, this will be a huge boon! Just think of it. No opening a bag of Doritos. No cramming a fistful in your gob. None of that annoying chewing. Nope! Just open a bottle, and chug it down. Hell. I'll go one better. Dump some vodka or Everclear in the bottle as well for a real buzz! Happy purging.
   'Nuff said.

Brilliant Idea!.....NOT

   That's Bank of Canada governor Stephen Poloz, and he's had what he thinks is a really good idea. He thinks jobless university graduates could beef up their resumes by working for free. Yup! Work for free. In a speech to a parliamentary committee, he went on to say young Canadians and others struggling to find work should acquire more experience through unpaid internships or volunteering until the country's hobbled job market picks up.
   And if that's not enough, he said jobless youth should get "some real-life experience even though you're discouraged, even if it's for free". That's gonna fan the flames of discontent among young people, for sure.
   Even a crusty old fuck like me has a problem with that. Not even prisoners work for "free" in this country, let alone a kid with a high educational debt looking to (hopefully) start paying it down. That's to say nothing about building self esteem. Now, all this comes as M.P's were starting to debate the thorny issue of unpaid internship some young people looking to get experience in their chosen field sometimes face. Something I feel, by the way, should not be allowed to happen. If you work, you should get paid. No matter if you're lazy, and love nothing more than hanging out if your parents basement playing World of Warcraft or Diablo.
   That said, there are unfortunately youth out there who would prefer doing just that. If and when they may or may not be protesting like those Occupy idiots did a few years back.
   And Stevie baby: Maybe you should give up your fat cat salary, benefits and perks and work for free instead of making idiotic pronouncements like that.
   'Nuff said.