Wacky Wednesday Wanderings

   It's been a very busy week at work, hence the last of posts. So, today I'm going to update a few things I've blogged about in the past.
   First, the death of this asshole:

   It seems, as I expected would happen, a 3rd version about how this turd met his end has come forward from another member of SEAL Team 6. And it contradicts what was said in the book "No Easy Day", along with earlier reports of his cancellation from the human race. This latest account says OBL was capped in the head once, not twice, and 2 members of the team "finished him off" with a couple more to the chest as he lay gravely wounded. But you know what? Who really cares. The main thing is this guy's been turned into fish shit at the bottom of the sea.
   The nutty North Koreans are at it again, with the puppet of their military Kim Jong Un, or as I call him Sum Dum Fuk, saying war with the south could break out at any moment. In fact, the north has cut the last line of communication with the south, and has been sabre rattling at the U.S quite a bit. The government there has also been talking of using a nuke if need be. I still think there's time for their only ally China to step in and basically tell Kim to stop all the bullshit....or else. Of course, what the "or else" means is anybody's guess. But if China can step in and make a difference, why not? The U.N has been as ineffective as always dealing with the little turd.
   And speaking of little turds:

   Yeah, he's back in the news again. And again for the wrong reason. It seems Justine Beaver allegedly assaulted a neighbor over complaints about loud parties at the Beebs place while the snot was touring. That, and the fact JB was supposedly driving recklessly around the neighborhood during one bash. In the altercation that followed, neighbor says JB "made contact" with him and threatened him, meaning JB's now under investigation for battery. Beebs, needless to say, says while there were "words" exchanged between them, nothing physical happened. Let the train wreck continue!
   'Nuff said.

You Have GOT To Be Shitting

   Well, according to the calendar, spring has arrived. Although in many parts of this continent you'd be hard pressed to find any sign of it. Just this week, there have been wicked winter storms battering parts of Canada and the U.S with snow, blizzards, high winds and low temperatures. Hell, parts of Canada were warmer in January than they've been the past few weeks.
   And now it seems some lawyer Stateside is pissed of enough about winter lingering to file an indictment over a false forecast. And not with just any forecaster either. No. He's going after the guru of them all:

   Yep. That's Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who was dragged out of his cage on a cold February 2nd morning and did not see his shadow, predicting an early end to winter.
   It seems our lawyer woke one morning recently to find snow and cold and decided "what the fuck", and launched the indictment saying Phil was grossly wrong.
   Our legal beagle also says if his suit goes ahead and Phil is found guilty, he's calling for the death penalty. That's because Phil is effectively already serving a life sentence in his cage.
   By now, you've no doubt realized our lawyer really IS shitting us all. He'd better be, or a legion of fans will stampede him making sure he doesn't "Kill Phil".
   And Mr. Lawyer: If you are going to prank us all, at least you could've waited till April 1st!
   'Nuff said ;)

Weekend Wanderings

   And there are a few things on the Ratbag Radar, not the least of which is another gang rape in India. And this time, the victim was a foreigner. A Swiss woman and her husband were on a cycling trip, when they were attacked, beaten and the woman raped by 8 men as they were camping in a forest near a temple in the Madhya Pradesh state. No, I don't have a clue where that is either. Anyway, the couple had only "minor" injuries, if you call being raped by 8 "men" minor. They also had their cell phone, laptop and 10 thousand rupees (about 185 dollars) stolen. This attack was just 3 months after a 26 year old was gang raped on a bus, and later died in hospital. In cases like these, justice should be swift and merciless.....the death penalty right after their convictions.
   Moving on. In Montreal, 250 people were busted at a march against police brutality. Mainly under a law prohibiting people from covering their faces during protests. Plus the fact no one had bothered to provide authorities with an itinerary of their event. In addition to the arrests, 2 cops needed medical aid. Maybe the city should consider a name change from Montreal to Mob-treal.
   Moving on. That little shit Justine Bieber is whining on again about the media, saying their publishing "lies" about him after all the (rightly) negative press the little turd's been getting in Europe. There was the concert he showed up 2 hours late for, the "fainting" spell at another gig, and cancelling a show in Portugal. Way to keep building your fan base! And if that's not enough, he also took a cheap shot at Lindsay Lohan, although it's not the first time she's been targeted for something like that. He also took offense at stories about his going into rehab, but he didn't mention drinking sizzurp. What a fucking surprise that isn't. As I said in an earlier post, it's time to grow up asshole!
   'Nuff said.

You Knew This Was Going To Happen, Didn't You?

   24 hours after pope Frankie took over the reins of the scandal-marred catholic church, a retired Canadian priest has been sentenced to 11 years in jail, less time already served, for sexually abusing children. 13 children, to be exact.....and 38 charges, to be exact. Most of the offences were in Newfoundland, between 1969 and 1989, and involved kids as young as 8. Not surprisingly, a lot of them were altar boys or otherwise involved with the church. One, apparently, was a newspaper boy.
   It seems this sick fuck would offer gifts like smokes, booze, ice cream and even porn (watched at his lair), gain the kids trust, and then WHAM! Abuse them by inviting them for a sleepover. And plying them with alcohol. Some passed out, but woke when they were being diddled. And I won't go into exactly what father Perv did to them. It's enough to make a dead horse wretch.
   Now, it's true the offences took place long before Frank became pope, but it points out the need for him and his crew to crack down hard on pedophile priests. And if the church wants to regain any respect at all, any and all instances should be reported to local authorities BEFORE some high mucky-muck has a chance to re-assign the bastard to another diocese. Where he can prey again.
   And as for the 75 year old who took advantage of these young kids.....well, I hope you get a chance to reap what you sowed in prison.
   'Nuff said

Habemus Papam

   Yes, the catholic church does in fact have a new pope. And here's the winner of the latest edition of Vatican Idol:

   That's Argentine cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, who will be better known as pope Francis I. He was elected by 115 of his fellows after 2 whole days of deliberation and voting, winning the 77 votes needed to be able to wear the big hat on the 5th ballot. Not surprisingly, not a whole lot is known about Frankie, other than he's theologically orthodox, and socially conservative. Just like his predecessor Benny was. And ain't that a surprise.
   He is younger than Benny was when he was elected, or installed, or elevated, or whatever the hell they do. Benny was 78.....Frankie is 76. So, we could be facing another conclave in the not to distant future.
   He's supposedly a conciliator, and will be able to come to grips with the sex abuse scandal and financial scandals rocking the church. Just like Benny was supposed to do! And I'm sure he's got good intentions, remembering of course that the path to hell is paved with good intentions. And after successive popes have turned a blind eye to those problems, I'm not holding out any hope for this guy to change things. After all, he's got one huge bureaucracy he has to deal with, and most of them quite obviously will fight tooth and nail against reforms.
   And at age 76, I really wasn't to surprised when they named another of their "old boy" network to wear the red slippers. I mean, you've got 115 old men appointing another old man to run a church supported mainly by old women.
   If the church wants to move forward and attract young members, then maybe.....just maybe.....the idea of Vatican Idol isn't so bad.
   I just wonder if Simon Cowell would agree to be a judge!
   'Nuff said.

Are You Sure The Water Is Safe To Drink?

   That question's being asked a lot in parts of China these days. Shanghai to be precise. And why? E-coli in the water? Chemicals leeching into the water table? No to both. The questions are being asked after the rotting carcasses of 28 HUNDRED dead pigs were discovered in the river supplying a good part of Shanghai's drinking water. And not just any dead pigs. These died from diseases.
   Apparently farmers who have a pig who died of some disease and can't be bothered to bury it, simply toss it into the river. And, according to one farmer, it happens a lot. Every day, supposedly. And the river in question ends up as tap water in China's largest city. Even better, thousands of pigs have died in the Shanghai region of disease in past months. 18 thousand in one area alone! And no one knows how the carcasses were disposed of, either. Better still, it seems someone has been cutting the hind legs of the corpses of several.
   Cancel my order of Moo Shu, and bring me a bottled water. Yuck!!!!
   'Nuff said.

It's Time To Grow Up, Asshole

   Yeah, that little douche has been in the news a lot lately, and for all the wrong reasons. Justin Beiber's been "touring" London the past week or so, and things are decidedly not going his way. First, he starts wearing some weird shit that sorta makes him look like a blend of something from a zombie apocalypse, and a fucked up Bob the Builder. Then he's late for a concert at the O-2. Two hours late! So late, in fact, that pissed off moms were taking their heartbroken kids out of the venue even before his "show" started.
   Then, he ended up "fainting" backstage during another show, and was taken to hospital. Where he tweeted a pic of himself, in bed, wearing headphones while "recovering". And to top it all off, he almost got into a tussle with a photographer who hurled epithet laced insults at the "Beeb", who had to be "restrained" by his bodyguards. While swearing right back. All caught on camera, by the way.
   I'm disgusted by the fact this guy was born in the same country I was, and that he treated his fans (who probably had their Moms pay top dollar for tickets) like shit by keeping them waiting 2 hours before he finally shows up. Claiming "technical issues" were the reason. As for his "illness", well, maybe I'm a little harsh suggesting it might have been a fake. And as for his contretemps with the photog, maybe he was a little peeved. But did he have to let the f-bomb fly as much as he did? What does that signal to his supporters?
   Hopefully, it means he's alienated them to the point where they stop caring. But I doubt it. All we can really hope for is that as he and his fans age, he'll fade from view, chew through his stash of cash, and end up flipping burgers at Rotten Ronnies.
   You may have noticed by now, I'm NOT a fan. Personally, I don't think much of his music, although to be fair (for once) I haven't heard a lot of it. But I also prefer something more melodic. Something like the long, drawn out death rattle of a man suffering from terminal flatulence.
   And Beebs.....a word of advice, if you'll take it. If you want to keep your legion of fans, it's time to grow up asshole!
   'Nuff said.

Paint That Nursery Pink

   It seems the former Kate Middleton may have let the cat out of the bag the other day. Making a rare public appearance, Kate accepted a teddy bear from a well-wisher, and was overheard saying "I'll take this for my d......" before stopping herself in mid sentence and correcting herself saying "my baby". Needless to say, the tabloids are all in a tizzy, and splashed the not quite news across their banner headlines.
   Prince William's wife further tried to cover her slip of the lip by saying "I'm sure, I'm sure. We don't know". Cough (bullshit) cough. I'm sure they're sure. And I'm also sure Kate did let slip the secret of the future Monarch's gender. And you know? So fucking what! If all people are worried about is if it's a boy or girl, then get a life. With the rules of succession changed, it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl. So long as it's healthy. That should be the main concern, not if it has a winkle or not.
   But I'm also sure a hell of a lot of people who were betting on it being a boy are kicking themselves in the ass right now. And I'm also sure bookies will NOT be taking any more bets on if it's a prince or princess.
   'Nuff said.

Random Ratbag Ramblings

   There hasn't been a whole lot to blog about recently, as you can see by my lack of posts. So today, another Ramble to see where we end up.
   And lets start at the movies. Or, in the case of Jack, the Giant Slayer, NOT start. The 300 million dollar kids movie raked in a whole 7 million on opening Friday, which may well mean it won't top 25 mil for the weekend. Anyone remember John Carter of Mars? Looking at the commercials for it, I doubt whether people will be taking their little 5, 6 and 7 year old's to see it. The little buggers will probably have nightmares for a month.
   Next, it seems almost all the cardinals (not the bird) have arrived in Rome for the conclave to choose Benny's successor. But one won't be making the trip. British cardinal Keith O'Brien resigned after allegations of a sex scandal surfaced. Seems the top catholic in Britain did what ex-pope Benny told his clergy not to do. He was engaged in supposed "inappropriate conduct" with 3 priests going back to the 1980's. Of course, he denies it. Naturally. It seems to be the thing members of that clergy are good at.
   Lastly, 86 year old Queen Elizabeth II has been released from hospital in London after spending Sunday night there for a touch of tummy trouble. Apparently gastroenteritis. It's the first time in a decade she's been admitted to hospital, and all of the week's royal schedule has been wiped or postponed. I know she'll never do it, but it may be time for her to follow Benny and retire. But like popes are supposed to do, it's a job for life. As for the ailment that laid her low, no one is saying. But given the scandal over horse meat showing up in what's supposed to be beef over there, maybe she should've given Taco Bell a miss. Maybe it gave her the trots! Get well soon Liz!
   'Nuff said